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Tag Archives: Life

Life happens. These posts are about the day to day or some aspect of living. Sometimes humorous.

Author Facade: being who you are as a writer #Author #MFRWauthor #INFJ

Author Façade: being who you are as a writer #Author #MFRWauthor #INFJAuthor façade. Do those words go together? Yes. When people ask me what I do, I could say I’m a wife or mother. I could say I’m a veteran. Or retired. Or any number of things. So could you, right? But what I say is, “I’m a writer.” An author.

The Author Façade

I’ve been published since 2004, and without exaggeration, I can say I’ve written hundreds of blog posts, tens of thousands of emails, and millions of words. I’ve posted on blogs all over the net.  Why? So readers can know the person behind the author façade. Is Kayelle Allen an author façade? Well, maybe façade is not the best word. One dictionary I consulted defines it like this:Kayelle Allen

Façade (1) A showy misrepresentation intended to conceal something unpleasant. — I certainly hope I’m not unpleasant. That doesn’t sound good, does it? No, not at all. I think my author facade fits the second definition better.
Façade (2): Frontage, the face or front of a building. Window dressing. — Or does that make my author façade somehow equal to drapes? Surely not.

I prefer to see my author façade as the best of who I am. My best-foot-forward attitude. My who-I-am when I’m on-my-best-behavior self. Okay, those of you who know me best can stop snickering. I can hear you all the way over here.

The thing is, my author façade is reality. The Kayelle Allen online is who I really am. Every person has something of a façade when it comes to public life and there are things I don’t share online. But I strive to be faithful to my private life when presenting my author self in public. I attempt to keep my author façade true to my real persona. So who am I?

I’m an INFJ (Myers Briggs temperament). The letters stand for Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), Judgment (J). I’m an introvert (I) in that I get my energy by being alone. I have blazingly fast insight (N) into people. I tend to go with feelings (F) over facts because I trust my own intuition, and once I make up my mind (J), I act without hesitation or looking back. Who are some other INFJs? Oprah Winfrey, Billy Crystal, Nelson Mandela, Carrie Fisher, Nicole Kidman, and Adam Sandler. Try this article if you want more insight.

My inside age and outside age are not equal. I may have aged, but I am not old. Wiser? Yes. Goodness. You couldn’t live my life without learning a few things. Smarter? Debatable.  I’m a US Navy veteran (Viet Nam era) and a member of RomVets (female romance writers who served in the military). I’m also a former Toastmaster. I love getting up in front of people and talking. That’s the number one fear in America, but I happen to love public speaking. You’d get me on a roller coaster only by dragging my dead body, but I will happily speak to a convention full of people. Weird, huh? I’m the founder of Marketing for Romance Writers, a peer-mentoring group for authors. Don’t get me started on that. I love MFRW! Click the link for in depth info about MFRW.

I think I’m someone you’d like if you got to know me. Because as much as being a writer is like being a different person, my author façade is the presentation of a real person. I invite you to follow and get to know me. I’d like to get to know you too. Please, tell me about your “façade” as a person. Who are you?

5 Exercises and 5 Excuses for Writers #writerslife #MFRWauthor

5 Exercises and 5 Excuses for Writers #writerslife #MFRWauthor

5 Exercises and 5 Excuses for Writers #writerslife #MFRWauthorYou might not be aware, but writing can be hazardous to your health. For example, carpal tunnel syndrome affects millions and is a serious threat to many writers. I had surgery (called a carpal tunnel release) on each hand, one after the other, many years ago. I’m completely recovered but it was a long haul. Here are some exercises that helped me recover.

These five exercises are ones my physical therapist taught me. After those, I’ll pass on five excuses for the author who likes less of a challenge. Any writer can do these hand exercises. They are pleasant, and simple. Performing warm up exercises for your hands can help prevent carpal tunnel syndrome and other maladies.

I am not a doctor or a trained physical therapist, but I am a writer who has dealt with carpal tunnel and lived with the pain it causes. These are suggestions based on what I do myself and what my therapist gave me to do. As with any exercise program, check with a medical professional before beginning, or if you have concerns. I personally do all the exercises below and they work for me. I hope they’ll help you.

Exercises for Writers

Exercise 1

Spread your fingers as wide as possible, hold the stretch to a count of five. Make a tight fist and hold that to a count of five. Repeat. Do this at least twice per hand before beginning your day.

Exercise 2

With right hand open, place fingers in the palm of your left hand. Press with the right while resisting with the left. You might feel this all the way to your elbows. That’s okay. It means there’s a good stretch. Hold for a count of five. Reverse hands and repeat. Do this twice per hand. I credit my fast recovery from surgery with this kind of therapy.

Exercise 3

Holding your hand straight up, keep fingers together and bring your thumb across your palm. Try to touch the base of your little finger. Stretch for it. If this is difficult it likely means your hand is tight. Repeat five times. You can do both hands at once.

Exerci5 Exercises and 5 Excuses for Writers #writerslife #MFRWauthorse 4

Use a small stress ball. Here’s one available on Amazon that is safe, non-sticky, and is said to last a lifetime. This one claims to be safe around children, but use your own judment.  http://amzn.to/2tEhEOi Place the ball on a firm surface and place the palm of your hand atop it. Keeping your fingers straight, roll the ball beneath your hand. Stress balls often come with their own suggested exercises.

Exercise 5

If you have twin sinks this is easy. If you don’t, try two deep bowls. Fill one with hot water. Make it cool enough to hold your hand in comfortably, but still be considered hot. Fill the other side with cold water. You can float a few ice cubes in it. Plunge your hands in the hot water and hold for 30 seconds. Then put them right into the cold water for 60 seconds. Repeat five times. This makes my hands feel wonderful! I hope you enjoy it too.

Excuses for Writers

We all have days where we just can’t seem to cope. Days when good enough is good enough. For those days, try these excuses. Because we’re writers, these are writing-related.

Excuse 1

You’ve worked hard on marketing and writing so take a break. Play Spider Solitaire, Mahjongg, a word search puzzle, or other game. Alternate option: read.

Excuse 2

The submission process is stressful, so write in a pre-formatted document. To create, open a blank document and save it as Chapter One. Double-check the formatting. Set a new format to indent automatically five spaces when starting a new paragraph, format it for double lines and name it Editing.

Excuse 3

You should be well hydrated before beginning any exercise. Fill your coffee cup, lift, sip, and put it back down. Repeat with the other hand. Do this until the cup is empty. Refill so you can repeat again later if needed.

Excuse 4

You should keep to your schedule as much as possible, so check your email and calendar for any upcoming events. Because these tasks fall under marketing, this is an acceptable writing activity.

Excuse 5

Writers should use good equipment, including things used for exercise. Double-check the exercise equipment you have on hand to be sure it’s high quality. You might try comparison shopping online. While you’re ordering new items, stock up on coffee, creamer, and sugar. This might be a good time to consider the meal plan for the week.


There you have it. Five exercises and five excuses. Which you use depends on you. Have you faced similar issues with pain when writing? How did you deal with it? Feel free to leave a comment.

Is it right to quit? 10 times it's ok #author #entrepreneur @kayelleallen

Is it right to quit? 10 times it’s ok #author #entrepreneur

The question, “Is it right to quit?” seems to require a “No!” in response. But does it? Not if you are quitting for the right reasons. Here are ten times it’s okay (and perhaps advisable) to quit.

When is it right to quit?

  1. When you realize what you’re doing is wrong. You’ve gone about it the hard way, for example, or you realize your information was incorrect.
  2. When it’s harmful or dangerous to yourself, others, or the environment.
  3. When it’s wasteful and not a good use of resources. Is it right to quit if you can fix the issue? Perhaps not.
  4. When someone else can do it better for less. This is an iffy one — quality and quantity are market related. If you can make a widget for a dollar and someone else has a means to make ten of them for that price and they outperform yours, give serious thought to moving on.Is it right to quit? 10 times it's ok #author #entrepreneur @kayelleallen
  5. When it’s not going in the right direction for your purposes.
  6. When you can’t control what you’re doing and how you’re doing it, this is a good time to step back and reconsider how and why. Is it right to quit if you can’t control the outcome? This is probably one of the best times, depending on what you are trying to do in the first place.
  7. When it’s no longer necessary. At some point, when no one needs this product or service, set it aside and move on.
  8. When it’s time to hand it over to a new person. Perhaps someone you know needs a chance to succeed and this project would be ideal for them. Step back and coach, but let it go. Is it right to quit when it means enabling others? Yes.
  9. When you’ve lost your enthusiasm. Perhaps a different approach to the issue is needed, but if you’ve tried different things and you still don’t care, quit. I know, that flies in the face of contemporary advice, but don’t beat a dead horse. Ride a live one.
  10. When you no longer love it. You might be enthusiastic about the concept or the product, but you’re tired of it. You don’t want to do this anymore. Then by all means, step back and move on.

The point of knowing when to quit is knowing what to do afterward. Is it right to quit just because you feel like it? Well, why do you feel like it? Is it because one of the reasons above?

Let me share some things I decided to quit doing recently. I unsubscribed from a few online services I no longer used and from a few newsletters I never read. I stopped wasting time opening email and then filing it and instead, set up a filter in email to automatically file many emails from my target people (friends, family, and businesses). Now I can see the folders have unread mail, read it, and then either delete it or go on to the next thing. It cut down on time filing quite a bit.

I am a graphic designer and love creating fanart, plus book covers, banners, and more. I created a company, The Author’s Secret, for that purpose. However, after five years, I realized I was spending so much time maintaining social media, websites, blog posts, and more for both myself and the company that I had little time left to do what I want to do most. Write. So after a long soul-searching period, I decided to close the company.

Instead, I will offer a few of the same services from my own website. That way, I’m promoting only one site and one set of social media. It’s a win-win.

Is it right to quit? I think so, yes, when the reasons are sound. What do you think? Is it right to quit or should you slug it out no matter what? Share your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear from you, yea or nay.

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