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Category: Humorous Stories

Material written to be funny, or to display humor.

Flashing the Fiction

Kayelle Allen 2 Comments
Good Writing.

Flash fiction is a short piece, often less than 500 words. I have three flashes from a challenge I did with fellow authors that I’m sharing today, each under 100 words. I hope you enjoy them. Each is a complete scene or story.

– – –

Waiting
Just a little more … don?t stop. Don?t stop! Need this so bad. Need this. Please – don?t – stop.
A little bit more. Come on, come on, that?s it. Let it go. Give it up. So close. Almost there. He blew out the breath he?d been holding and took another one, hands shaking.
Been waiting for this – been wanting it, so, so damn bad. He licked his lips.
I should?ve started so much earlier, taken more time, gotten all of it ready. Oh! Yes. Yes…. here it comes!
The last little bit of ketchup landed on his fries.
– – –
Helping
She spread her thighs wider and slid down a little. ?There. Can you get it in now??
?No. Not yet.? He hooched over to the right, grunting a bit as he pushed harder. ?Hold still.?
?Hurry up, baby.?
?I?m trying!? He shifted his shoulders, angled one foot against the ground for better leverage. ?It?s almost within the hole. Just a little…?
?Do it harder! I can?t keep this up.?
?Hold on, baby. Hold on.? He wiped sweat from his brow. The heat rose. Fingertips slick with lubricant, he rubbed the opening. With a click, the car?s axle slid into place.
– – –
Red
So much for avoiding a hard-on and embarrassing myself. She?s wearing red. Again.
I needed her to wear one more red dress to haunt my memories. This one was sleeveless, baring perfectly formed arms, strong and feminine. Strapless too, revealing skin the color of mahogany cream.
A man doesn?t stand a chance with her in that dress. Long, slinky, shiny, scarlet. Oh, God. It looks– wet.
Her mouth was the same red, her lips plump, like she?d just been kissed. Like she?d run her tongue across them. Like she was wanting him.
Is she wet anywhere else?
Damn, damn, damn.
– – –
So… how do you like my flashes? =^_^=
Kayelle Allen is an award-winning, multi-published author. Her heroes and heroines include badass immortals, warriors who purr, and agents who find the unfindable–or hide it forever. She is known for unstoppable heroes, uncompromising love, and unforgettable passion.
Read more →

Today’s The Day – A Flash Writing Challenge

Kayelle Allen 2 Comments

I’m a Writer.
This is from a flash witing challenge and is reprinted in full on this blog.
– – –
Every day, I get up and I look in the mirror, and I say, “My name is Chris, and I’m a writer. Today’s the day, baby! I’m gonna be famous.” As you can see, I don’t just talk to myself; I lie to myself.
Yeah, well today, I quit. Writing, not lying.
Here’s why. The last line of my editor’s letter said, “Make it more heartwarming, and it’ll sell.”
Heartwarming? I’ll give him heartwarming! How many hours did I sit here, at his suggestion no less, staring at the screen, trying to come up with ways to increase action? Okay, so now you’ve got your slam-bam action. There’s a crisis on every page. And he wants “heartwarming.”
I’m an action writer. Heartburn is more like it.
My hero’s a player, smart, in great shape, face and body like one of those models from New York. He can do anything. Problem is, he’s all mouth. You know the type. Knows everything, and makes sure you hear about it. Here’s one of his lines. “I’m so much more intelligent than most of my friends that they don’t seem to like me. Apparently, they have ego problems.”
How do you make a guy like that heartwarming?
He’s a spy. Carries an arsenal in his pants, in more ways than one. Kills for a living. Crude and rude. Think Dirty Harry meets James Bond. What does this editor want, Dirty Harry meets Love Story? Cute little warm fuzzies all over the place? My poor hero would puke.
I can see it now: “Love means never having to say I’m Bond. James Bond.”
My friends would laugh themselves silly. Hmmm. Wait a second. What if I made it a comedy? I could do comedy. Dirty Harry meets Love Story… I could call it “Dirty Love Story.” Yeah… I kind of like that. Maybe the hero’s got a thing for love stories. Reads women’s erotica on the sly, to find out what women really want in bed. Yeah! That could work. That’s heartwarming, isn’t it?
I gotta go find a pen. Today’s the day, baby! I’m gonna be famous.
Kayelle Allen is an award-winning, multi-published author. Her heroes and heroines include badass immortals, warriors who purr, and agents who find the unfindable–or hide it forever. She is known for unstoppable heroes, uncompromising love, and unforgettable passion.
Read more →