Updates - Page 75 of 98 - Kayelle Allen

Condescending? But of course. Writing a patronizing character. Pietas Insults #AmWriting #PietasFans #MFRWhooks

Kayelle Allen 02/04/2020 Fallen Empires 12 Comments

How do you know when to dial back a haughty character's arrogance?

Patronizing

A patronizing attitude reveals a character flaw, but it can be entertaining as well. How do you keep from going overboard? Here are 3 ways I found to temper my temperamental immortal king.

1 Do not use a patronizing attitude for no reason. Nothing alienates a reader faster than a character who is nasty to others just for the sake of being nasty. Make insults in the scene spring from an obvious need or cause. In the opening of Origin of Pietas: Bringer of Chaos, Pietas offers a direct insult to his father, but it's in response to his father's callous treatment.

2 Do not substitute a patronizing attitude when a scene calls for action. An action scene such as a fight or physical action can do much to advance the story. If you have your character just be snarky instead of dealing with danger, it comes off as negativity, or worse, as cowardice. Nothing says that you can't have your character mouth off during a fight. The fact that they can deal with physical action and still be able to think of something snarky to say says a lot about a person.

3 Do not allow the character to be verbally vicious unless the scene demands it. There is a big difference between disdain and cruelty. If your character insults someone viciously, ask yourself how that will move the story forward. Will it fuel the plot? Or do you intend the scene to show a major character flaw? If so, show the consequences as early as possible. Your character gets fired, or loses a friend, or someone takes it out on a person they love.

10 patronizing quips by Pietas

Oh, how exciting. (delivered deadpan) One can scarcely articulate the excitement.
I trust people, except for two types: those I know, and those I don't.
You don't wrestle your demons, do you? You cuddle them.
My father does indeed have a heart. It's shaped like a fist.
Am I going to be arrogant my entire life? I think we both know the answer to that question.
I see you're spoiling for a fight. Don't let me stop you. I'm ready to defeat you anytime.
He states the obvious with such an astonishing sense of discovery.
It's not that she's insane. It's that she's a high-functioning basket case.
I won't be there. I don't attend irredeemably boring events.
His life is a pedestrian and lamentable melodrama.

Just as in real life, actions and words have consequences. It's great to show the flaw, but remember to show the result as well.

Pietas inhabits many books in my story universe, including the Bringer of Chaos series, the Antonello Brothers, and Tales of the Chosen. Download a printable PDF list of my books: Booklist

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10 Snarky Ways to Say No: Pietas #SpaceOpera #PietasFans #MFRWhooks

Kayelle Allen 01/22/2020 Fallen Empires 14 Comments

When I started writing about Pietas, he'd been a villain in other books, or at least a bad guy with serious issues. But after writing a couple of stories where he's the actual hero, I know him so much better. One thing I was surprised by is how snarky he is. I thought the immortal king would be much more dignified, but it turns out that around those he trusts, he can more than snarky.

Snarky is as Snarky Does

In fact, I started writing the Bringer of Chaos series so I could understand him. I was working on a book in the Antonello Brothers series and could not get Pietas to do what I wanted him to do. He wouldn't be the villain, no matter how much I tried to write him that way.

In exasperation, I told a friend about my problem and she suggested interviewing him. She'd call me on Skype and I would answer as Pietas. I would role play the character and free associate his answers. It opened my eyes to an entirely new aspect of my immortal king.

The Bringer of Chaos series was born from that interview.

An anti-hero is a protagonist but one who doesn't have the usual characteristics that would make them heroes (or heroines). Batman is a perfect example. He's a vigilante. He works outside the law. But we all root for him.

Here's what I've learned about writing anti-heroes in a nutshell. They have:

Character flaws
Complex motives
Internal conflicts
Issues with intimacy
Generally a realist

Character Flaws

With Pietas, I started listing his flaws and decided which two or three would be the ones I'd focus on. What are they? His are many, but I'll start with one that I showed on the first page of Origin of Pietas: Bringer of Chaos.

Perfectionism

He hates it when people mispronounce his name. I could have written "He hated it when people mispronounced his name." But where's the fun in that? It tells. I prefer to show. So I wrote a scene where he sees a video in which the media accuses him of a misdeed. I wrote:

At her mispronunciation of his name, he gritted his teeth. "My name is pronounced Pee-ah-toss, thank you. Not Pie-ah-toss. Pee-ah-toss. It's six letters. How hard is that to get right?" He stormed away from the podium.

By having him react strongly to the error, it reveals one of his flaws and a bit of his character.

Snarky

Pietas often chooses insults over tact. One way that shows best is when he's asked to do something he'd rather not do. Here are ten snarky ways Pietas might tell someone "no."

No, but do you know who would love doing that? Someone with less intelligence.
Try asking someone else. I'm too smart.
I would love to, but I'm planning a much more interesting nap.
Has the netherworld frozen solid? If so, then by all means, yes.
That sounds like a job for someone incapable of thinking past point A.
I'm sure there are worse ways to do that, but I can't think of any.
I was going to suggest you stop acting stupid, but I realized you weren't acting.
My original misconceptions of your idea have proven true.
If you don't want a sarcastic answer, then don't ask a stupid question.
Would you like me to spell the word NO for you?

Lovable

Pietas is lovable despite his mistakes, and he forgives mistakes in others. Here's a quick excerpt from Forged in Fire: Bringer of Chaos for example. In this scene, Joss, one of the warriors with whom Pietas has had a long relationship, keeps taking them in circles on the way back to camp. His usual snarky attitude gives way to tenderness.

"Joss, you've been saying 'not far' for hours. Did I not teach you to mark trails?"

"I'm sorry, Pietas. It won't happen again."

Oh, but it would. She wouldn't mean for it to happen, but it would. He'd tried for centuries to teach her how to find her way, to no avail. He kissed her cheek and drew her into his arms, savoring her warmth.

"Joss." He placed his mouth near her ear. "You couldn't find your way out of a round room with one door."

She jerked up her head and looked at him, eyes wide.

"And I adore you for it."

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How could a killer with soulless, nightmare eyes ever care for a child? #Excerpt from A Stolen Heart #SpaceOpera #MFRWauthor

Kayelle Allen 01/15/2020 MM Romance 12 Comments

While they are in Luc's hoversine, he realizes this child has better vision than most, because he's commented on something far in the distance.

"I can't believe you can see that far."

"I see better than humans." Senthys folded his hands. "Can you see that far?"

"You mean because I have 'weird' eyes?" Nightmare eyes, more like it.

"Uh huh."

"I have better vision than most people." How odd to have a discussion with a child. Usually, none stayed in his presence long enough to say hello.

"Do they hurt?"

"My eyes?" His real eyes would send the boy screaming in the other direction, but it was sweet of him to show concern. "They don't hurt. I cover them for protection."

The boy squinted. "Do my eyes need 'tection?"

"Pro-tection." He patted the boy's hand. "Yours are fine. Mine are sensitive to light." It was an old lie but kept people from asking him to show them his real eyes. He fished out dark glasses he wore in the event of a lens failure, and put them on. "I wear these if I'm in the sun all day."

"Can I try?"

Luc considered it. "Why not?" He pulled them off and helped the boy adjust them over his ears and nose.

The wraparound glasses dwarfed the young face. When they slid down his nose, the child tilted back his head and pushed them up.

"Don't move." After pulling out his mobile, Luc captured an image. Without proof, his friends would never believe he'd been this close to a child without it fleeing in terror.

"Do us!" Senthys patted the seat beside him. "Take our picture."

Luc set his device to hover an arm's length away, then put his head closer to the boy's. "Portrait. Capture." The mobile made a soft click signaling completion.

When he showed the image to the boy, Senthys squealed. "That's me! And that's you."

"Yes, it is." The glasses had the name Draap on the earpiece. No kid this age could afford those and it was Luc's preferred brand. Proof he hadn't faked the entire thing. His friends would lose substantial bet money with this.

---
Be sure to scroll down and visit other authors in this hop!

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“Look what I bought,” women said of him #SciFi #Romance

Kayelle Allen 01/10/2020 Character Insights

From For Women Only

In this scene from For Women Only, Khyff awakens beside Mehfawni, the feline-humanoid Kin ambassador to the Tarthian Empire. He'd been ordered to seduce her, part of a complicated ploy by the Empress, who wants to remove Mehfawni from the Kin line of succession.
The seduction took no time on Khyff's part. The moment Mehfawni saw the gorgeous blond and blue-eyed human, she pursued him.

Khyff has always been a plaything for women to enjoy, never a person to get to know. Until he meets Fawni.

Khyff drifted off to sleep, more comfortable than he could remember being in years and woke sometime later to the feel of a hand sliding down his abs and across his belly. He opened his eyes.

When she noticed he was watching her, mild surprise widened Mehfawni's big golden eyes with their jade green flecks. "Oh, you're awake."
"Mmm."
"I hope I didn't wake you. You looked..." She sighed. "I wanted to touch you. You're so smooth."
"It's okay. You can touch me any time you like." He stretched. It felt good to be rested. No light showed at the windows. "What time is it?"
She shrugged. "I pay no attention to such things. Local time. Tradestandard time. Time zones. Time to hold council. Time to sleep." She hooked her claws into the air, a picture of frustration. "My staff open doors and pour wine and feed me. They lay out my clothes and draw my bath. All the rest of my life is work." She dragged the tips of her claws down his body.
Khyff's skin jumped, still hypersensitive after their riotous lovemaking.
"This--" she stroked his belly "--is outside time. This is my time. I will not look at clocks while I'm with you."
Warmth swept over him that had nothing to do with sex. He turned the feeling over in his mind, unsure what to make of it, and held out his arms.
She moved into his embrace, body flush against his at leg and groin, skin pressed against his. She lay half atop him, leaning a bit to one side, propped on one elbow.
"Are you hungry, Khyff?"
He hadn't noticed until she asked. "Starving. I have plenty of food in the kitchen. What would you like?"

"Besides you?"
"You can have me, too."
She tapped his nose and sat up. "I want to take you out to dinner. In Tarth City, surely there is always food ready somewhere."
"I know plenty of places." They had told him to prepare to be spoiled. Kin females were accustomed to being in charge. Khyff hadn't mentioned he was used to women paying his way. They liked to flaunt him to their friends and display him like a new charm on their wrist bracelets. Look what I bought.
"Somewhere quiet." Mehfawni folded her legs, elbows on her knees. "I don't wish women to gawk at you when you're with me."

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What the Corps provides, the Corps can take away #SpaceOpera #MFRWhooks #MFRWorg

Kayelle Allen 01/08/2020 Fallen Empires 8 Comments

The Corps issues a stern reminder

"Master Sergeant, you made us all proud by your service. You volunteered for the corps and your commanding officer recommended you at the perfect time. Three Ultras were captured during the Raid on San Xavier. Ultras you helped take out of the war. Your death at the retaliatory Siege of San Xavier meant you had a chance to fulfill your promise to serve."

"Thank you...?" Why was she telling him what he already knew? "Ma'am."

"The corps will not forget your service, or the promise made to support your family." Coming to a stop before him, she bared her teeth in a deceptive, political smile. "Counting you as missing in action means long-term benefits for your loved ones. Wouldn't it be a shame if your body was found and that ended?"

The usual heat of Ultra blood beneath his skin plummeted. Tornahdo remained aloof and calm, as if he faced a firing squad. A good soldier never forgot a threat.

"The corps spent far too much to toss you out and start over. But be aware, that indulgence extends only so far." The general stuck her face in his. "Are we clear?"

Clear as brittle ice on a bottomless lake in the deep of winter. Menacing. Jagged. Cracking underfoot.

He unclenched his jaw. "Yes, ma'am."

"In the regular army, you shield each other. This is Ghost Corps. Humans are expendable."

He'd spent twenty years fighting an enemy that believed the same thing. So the corps was better--how?

"You are not a human shield, Master Sergeant. You have a single duty. Which is?"

"Ma'am, kill Ultras."

"That's right. This is your second rebirth. We don't know how many more you can experience without harm."

The word none came to mind but Tornahdo kept his trap shut.

"Your enhanced blood gives you enough stamina to kill the enemy. Do your duty. Nothing else. Tell me." The general folded her arms. "Will you draw enemy fire again?"

Yes. Always. That's what set humans apart from Ultras. Humans protected each another. Although for her, he'd make an exception. "Ma'am, Ghost Corps regulations require that I do not."

Lights Out by Kayelle Allen

He can save mankind. After he does one important thing. Die.
Join the Ghost Corps, they said. You'll live forever, they said. You'll save mankind, they said. They didn't say that to do it, first he had to die.
When Tornahdo signs on the dotted line, he puts his life into the steady hands of the mighty Ghost Corps. Three grisly deaths and three agonizing resurrections later, he's assigned duty on the space station Enderium Six.
He's facing his most dangerous mission yet, the very reason the corps exists.
Do they expect him to win? Fat chance. Tornahdo and his team are already dead and this mission is codenamed "Lights Out." No, there's more to this than he can see.
To discover the truth, he must face an unbeatable, unkillable enemy, and this time--somehow--find a way to keep himself alive...

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Free Books: Sci Fi, Space Opera, Cyberpunk, all the good stuff at no cost through Dec 2019 #FreeBooks #SciFi

Kayelle Allen 12/29/2019 Science Fiction Books

If you love reading free books — especially science fiction, space opera, cyberpunk, steampunk and more… join us through the end of December 2019 for a giveaway of multiple books in all these genres. Authors you know, and authors you don’t.

Check out the titles from C Gockel, GJ Ogden, PR Adams, Chris Ward, AA Warren, Suzanne V Reese, Paul Heingarten, Aurora Springer, and more, 43 authors in all. No, you won’t get bombarded by dozens of emails. If you like one author, you sign up for that author’s email alone.

Includes my book, Lights Out, in the Bringer of Chaos series.

Join the Ghost Corps, they said. You’ll live forever, they said. You’ll save mankind, they said. They didn’t say that to do it, first he had to die.

When Tornahdo signs on the dotted line, he puts his life into the steady hands of the mighty Ghost Corps. Three grisly deaths and three agonizing resurrections later, he’s assigned duty on the space station Enderium Six.

He’s facing his most dangerous mission yet, the very reason the corps exists.

Do they expect him to win? Fat chance. Tornahdo and his team are already dead and this mission is codenamed “Lights Out.” No, there’s more to this than he can see.

To discover the truth, he must face an unbeatable, unkillable enemy, and this time–somehow–find a way to keep himself alive…

Free Books

This is a great deal. Be sure to take advantage of this offer of free books while it lasts. It ends right before the ball drops on December 31, 2019! Click below to find the books.

StoryOrigin Event: Blast off with Sci-Fi

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REDIRECT The Ugly Christmas Sweater, T-shirt version #ChristmasRomance #UglyChristmasSweater

Kayelle Allen 12/23/2019 Uncategorized

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Trouble follows Tornahdo (excerpt from Lights Out) #SciFi #PietasFans #FreeBook

Kayelle Allen 12/17/2019 Kayelle Allen 6 Comments

Tornahdo knows it's trouble when this guy shows up...

Ravenstongue sauntered toward him. "Why you here?"

Tornahdo kicked back in his chair. After stretching out his legs, he crossed his ankles. "Why do you care?"

"Big ops tomorrow. Lights out in ten. Time for you to go home and go to bed."

Behind the bar, the keeper closed up shelves and battened down doors.

"Yeah?" Tornahdo flicked a hand toward the door. "I'll follow you out."

"I'm not leavin'. Didn't you hear? We passed inspection with the highest scores. Got a free night out." Ravenstongue jabbed a finger toward Tornahdo. "But you gotta go home like a good boy."

In no kingdom in the galaxy would that happen.

Ravenstongue lifted two fingers, signaling his cohorts.

The keeper ducked behind the bar while the goons flanked their wannabe boss, imbecilic grins in place.

A pair of demons usually sat on Tornahdo's shoulders. The bad demon laid out strategy while the good demon discouraged action. Tonight, the good demon flipped a middle finger toward Ravenstongue with a not-so-subtle suggestion to kick his ass.

Tornahdo took his time rising, slid his chair under the table. "What did you say?"

"I said, 'You gotta go home like a good boy.'"

Hanging his thumbs in his belt, Tornahdo gave him a slow smile. "Go back to the bar, finish your drink and we'll pretend we're all friends and leave together. This is your last chance for a peaceful end."

"Peaceful." With a scoff, Ravenstongue jerked his head toward Short Goon. "You hear that?"

"Yeah. Maybe we oughta do what--"

Ravenstongue jabbed him with an elbow.

"I mean, yeah! I heard that." He leaned closer to his boss. "We gonna?"

"No, you idiot. Shut your face and back me up."

How did these hotheads enlist? Ghost Corps must have been desperate for bodies. Literally. A fighter's corpse they could reanimate. Which was a sobering thought.

Was that what the corps thought of him?

Lights Out by Kayelle Allen

He can save mankind. After he does one important thing. Die.
Join the Ghost Corps, they said. You'll live forever, they said. You'll save mankind, they said. They didn't say that to do it, first he had to die.
When Tornahdo signs on the dotted line, he puts his life into the steady hands of the mighty Ghost Corps. Three grisly deaths and three agonizing resurrections later, he's assigned duty on the space station Enderium Six.
He's facing his most dangerous mission yet, the very reason the corps exists.
Do they expect him to win? Fat chance. Tornahdo and his team are already dead and this mission is codenamed "Lights Out." No, there's more to this than he can see.
To discover the truth, he must face an unbeatable, unkillable enemy, and this time--somehow--find a way to keep himself alive...

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~ Copyright ©2025 Kayelle Allen. All rights reserved ~ Kayelle Allen participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates program, an affiliate advertising program which provides the means for sites to earn fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com. If you purchase an item listed on the site from Amazon.com, Kayelle will earn a small commission. Other sites might be affiliate links as well. These will not result in higher prices for you. Thank you for your support!

My characters may be found in multiple books in my story universe. Pietas images from Nik Nitsvetov Pietas cosplays.

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Weird Eyes: a toddler’s view of Luc #SciFi #MFRWhooks #MFRWauthor

Kayelle Allen 12/11/2019 Science Fiction Books 10 Comments

Weird Eyes: a scene from A Stolen Heart

(Be sure to scroll to the bottom to see all the authors taking part in today's blog hop.)

In this scene, Luc has been comforting a crying three-year-old boy whom he rescued. The child has cornflower blue eyes with the slashed pupils of a Kin, a feline-humanoid species. But his aren't the weird eyes...

Luc handed the boy a handkerchief.

Senthys dragged it across his wet nose and eyes, smearing the mess across his entire face. He offered the handkerchief back.

Gingerly, Luc accepted it, folded the wet side in and used the other to wipe the child's face. How did parents and caretakers manage such unsanitary duties on a daily basis?

He dangled the damp cloth by a corner. "I think you should keep this."

"Thank you." The boy stuffed it into a pocket. Winding his curls around a finger, he leaned against Luc's chest, looking up at him. "You have hair like me." Senthys pulled out a long strand. "See?"

"Hmm." Indeed, the boy had loose curls like his, but there, the resemblance stopped. "I think your hair is lighter." By dozens of shades compared to his ebony. "And longer."

Pietas would never believe any of this. Neither would his friends. Nor anyone who knew Luc by any name in any empire.

The boy twisted around. Assuming he wanted down, Luc moved back, but the child knelt between Luc's thighs.

Jerking back, Luc took the boy's hands to steady him. "What are you doing?"

Senthys planted one foot on the seat between Luc's thighs.

"Careful!" Scooting even further back, he shifted his grip to the boy's waist.

"I wanna see your eyes." Senthys stood and leaned in closer, staring at first one eye, then the other. "Wow! They're weird."

"Are they?" His true eyes were the stuff of childhood nightmares. Since Luc had no trouble seeing, his lenses hadn't slipped or been damaged. The weirdness likely referred to their blackness. "I'm sure you think so. Do you know colors?"

"Uh huh."

"What color are my eyes?"

With a clawless, human fingertip, he poked Luc's cheek. "Same as this."

"You mean my skin?"

"Skin," he repeated, patting Luc's cheeks and then his own. "Real Kin have furskin. I don't. I'm not a real Kin. I'm HalfKin."

"I see." He reseated the boy on his lap. "Can you tell me what color they are?"

"Uh huh." Senthys swung one foot, making Luc think of Pietas. "Pink."

Chuckling, Luc tidied the boy's shirt. "Black."

"I get pink mixed up." He gave a huge yawn. "When are you taking me home?"

"Home?" The child likely thought he was being adopted. "I'm here to talk to the headmistress. I'm sure you'll find a home soon."

Senthys sniffed, blinking up at him. "But..." He rubbed his nose. "I wanna go with you. I'll be good. I don't bite." He held up his fingers. "I don't have claws."

Those words wrenched his heart. This innocent had no idea how dangerous Luc was. The poor child would be trading one monster for another.

"Senthys." Careful not to pull the boy's curls, Luc brushed them back from the lad's face. "Saving you from a big bad monster doesn't mean I'm not one."

[bctt tweet="He rescued a toddler from a big bad monster. But now, who is rescuing whom? A scene from A Stolen Heart #scifi #spaceopera" username="KayelleAllen"]

Luc's "weird eyes" are solid black due to full-eye contacts. But what about the real eyes he's hiding? Why does he hide them? Tune in for a new excerpt from A Stolen Heart next week.

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Featured Book: Do you pick Sci Fi, Fantasy, or Christmas? #SpaceOpera #ChristmasRomance

Kayelle Allen 12/08/2019 Colonies of Man

Featured Book: Blast Off with Sci Fi

Pick up new reads in Sci Fi, Space Opera, Cyberpunk and more FREE till Dec 31, 2019.

Featured Book: Lights Out!

He can save mankind. All he has to do is die.

Join the Ghost Corps, they said. You'll live forever, they said. You'll save mankind, they said. They didn't say that to do it, first he had to die.

When Tornahdo signs on the dotted line, he puts his life into the steady hands of the mighty Ghost Corps. Three grisly deaths and three agonizing resurrections later, he's assigned duty on the space station Enderium Six.

He's facing his most dangerous mission yet, the very reason the corps exists.

Do they expect him to win? Fat chance. Tornahdo and his team are already dead and this mission is codenamed "Lights Out." No, there's more to this than he can see.

To discover the truth, he must face an unbeatable, unkillable enemy, and this time--somehow--find a way to keep himself alive...

Featured Book

Featured Book: CL Cannon's SF & Fantasy Holiday Sale

Pick up new reads in Sci Fi, Space Opera, and Fantasy on sale until Dec 26, 2019.

Featuring The Last Vhalgenn

Duty. Honor. Ritual.

One of these things may kill her.

The Vhalgenn is the last of her kind, a companion bred to serve the king. Duty and honor burn in her blood. When the queen begs for a secret blessing to save the newborn prince, the Vhalgenn answers.

But when she takes the babe to the queen's homeland for the ritual, what she discovers could topple the king and overthrow the kingdom. If she saves them--she must abandon every last thing she holds sacred, and do the one thing that will destroy her own heart...

Featured Book

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Patronizing

10 patronizing quips by Pietas

Origin of Pietas

Forged in Fire

Lights Out

Snarky is as Snarky Does

Character Flaws

Perfectionism

Snarky

Lovable

Origin of Pietas

Forged in Fire

Lights Out

Nightmare Eyes: a scene from A Stolen Heart

The Antonello Brothers Series

From For Women Only

The Antonello Brothers Series

What the Corps Provides

The Corps issues a stern reminder

Lights Out by Kayelle Allen

Origin of Pietas

Forged in Fire

Lights Out

Free Books

Trouble follows Tornahdo

Lights Out by Kayelle Allen

Bringer of Chaos

Weird Eyes: a scene from A Stolen Heart

The Antonello Brothers Series

Featured Book

Featured Book: Blast Off with Sci Fi

Featured Book: CL Cannon's SF & Fantasy Holiday Sale

Featured Book: Viviana MacKade Christmas Book Fair

Origin of Pietas

Forged in Fire

Lights Out