Updates - Page 78 of 86 - Kayelle Allen

Mind Heist (Zack Hemsey) #playlist #scifi #chaos

Kayelle Allen 05/20/2016 Music to Write By

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 6 Mind Heist

Listen to Mind Heist, the theme from the movie Inception, and let the opening sweep you into its power. This is Pietas–a king who pulls you under his spell and then takes you into a path you never expected: a mind heist. Readers will hate him at the opening part of the book, but by its end, his noble heart will win them over.

***

“Mortals! How I tire of that word. I believe I’ll start calling them Mundanes.”

“Why not? It smacks of your usual disrespect and bigotry.”

Pietas sputtered a laugh. “I find it incredulous that the indignant and righteous Mahikos who led our people in rebellion against humanity has fallen so far from his ideals. What happened to the motto ‘Freedom, Fairness, Fortune’ that rallied our people? I was four years old. We were still hidden then. No one knew Dessy and I existed except you and Mother. But you hoisted us both onto your shoulders and we stayed behind darkened glass and watched as thousands of our people cheered in the streets. You’d won them freedom, and they shouted your name. Oh, in that moment, Father, I wanted to be just like you. No, I wanted to be you. Now?” He ignored the angry twitch tugging at one eyelid. “You want us to treat humans as equals. They never treated us as such. Even now, we’re hated and reviled. Putting them on the council will make them haughtier. I want nothing to do with humans.”

“Then you want nothing to do with me, Son. Humans are all I care about.”

And wasn’t that the naked truth of his father’s betrayal? He had turned his back on their people. He had turned his back on his son.

—

Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas
Immortal. Warrior. Outcasts. Traitors took everything. Except their honor.
Free on KindleUnlimited
Amazon http://amzn.to/1R8DAbb
Print http://amzn.to/1SQh1Fb

Mind Heist – Zack Hemsey

Song: Mind Heist
Artist: Zack Hemsey
Album: Mind Heist – EP
Copyright: 2011 Zack Hemsey

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Download and print three PDF Bookmarks. The first features Six, the human warrior. The second is Pietas, the immortal warrior. The third is the two, back to back. This drawing is to scale: Six is 6′ (1.8m) tall.
Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-six.pdf
Pietas https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas.pdf
Pietas and Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas6.pdf
Download a free adult coloring book you can print and share. Relax and color with friends. It’s fun! https://kayelleallen.com/media/pietas-coloring-book.pdf

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Made of Scars (Stone Sour) #playlist #scifi #chaos

Kayelle Allen 05/18/2016 Music to Write By

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 5 Made of Scars

If ever a song fit Pietas, it is this one. He is literally made of scars. His never show. He heals too fast for any sign of them to remain. There’s a line in this song that fits him. Referring to his scars, the singer says “this one isn’t even there, but I feel it more because you don’t care.” When I heard that, it was like Pietas himself speaking to me.

“If they keep their word, these talks will end the war. We’ll have peace.”

“Ah, and isn’t that the key. If. Humans do not surrender well. They say the word ‘human’ as if it were synonymous with ‘king.’ These talks are nothing more than a ruse by you bleeding hearts who want to ‘stop the killing.’ As if killing was not what you were born to do. Embrace your purpose, Father. You are a killer. Like me.”

“We’re also scientists. Even I will admit you are the finest among our people. Embrace that. We don’t have to kill. The war has cost billions of human lives, while not one of us has perished.”

“As usual, you discount my deaths.”

“Yours don’t count. You come back.”

“I see.” Had anything Pietas had ever done counted? Not to the man before him. “Tell me, Father.” He picked up the silver circlet and toyed with it. “Would it be better if some of us had been terminated by fire, or one of the other ways to end us permanently? How many perma-deaths would suffice? Are two sufficient? A hundred? Or would mine be enough?”

***

Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas
Immortal. Warrior. Outcasts. Traitors took everything. Except their honor.
Free on KindleUnlimited
Amazon http://amzn.to/1R8DAbb
Print http://amzn.to/1SQh1Fb

Made of Scars – Stone Sour

Song: Made of Scars
Artist: Stone Sour
Album: Come What(ever) May [Special Edition] Copyright: 2006 Stone Sour

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Download and print three PDF Bookmarks. The first features Six, the human warrior. The second is Pietas, the immortal warrior. The third is the two, back to back. This drawing is to scale: Six is 6′ (1.8m) tall.
Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-six.pdf
Pietas https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas.pdf
Pietas and Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas6.pdf
Download a free adult coloring book you can print and share. Relax and color with friends. It’s fun! https://kayelleallen.com/media/pietas-coloring-book.pdf

Read more →

Fatal (Critical Mass) #playlist #scifi #chaos

Kayelle Allen 05/16/2016 Music to Write By

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 4 Fatal

When you hear the first few notes of Fatal it will no doubt be familiar. This song has been in numerous movie trailers. It’s instrumental, and it portrays power and build up as well as aggression, yet it is controlled and simple. It fits both Pietas and Six.

***

“These talks will solve nothing. They’re going to try something stupid. We’ll slaughter them for it, and as usual, we’ll be blamed. What is so hard to grasp about this?” Pietas reached out with his empathic senses, but encountered the blunt edge of his father’s shields. There would be no persuasion except by speech. “I wish I could show you, once and for all, that humans are cutthroats. They will not honor their word. They will not abide by our laws. They will usurp our power and try to control the galaxy as if it belonged to them.”

“It does belong to them.”

Pietas threw up a hand. “This again.”

“The galaxy was theirs before we claimed it. Son, humanity is an ancient civilization. We are the usurpers. Yes, we are more powerful. We should be benevolent rulers, not despots. Might does not make right.” He finished the brandy and set down the glass with a thud. “But let’s attempt civility. We’re both members of the council and should discuss topics with one another out of respect for the office.” The glare Mahikos leveled his way carried the empathic warmth of an ice blade. “Even if we detest one another on a personal level.”

—

Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas
Immortal. Warrior. Outcasts. Traitors took everything. Except their honor.
Free on KindleUnlimited
Amazon http://amzn.to/1R8DAbb
Print http://amzn.to/1SQh1Fb

Fatal – The Critical Mass

(FYI – look for them on iTunes and elsewhere as THE Critical Mass. Without “the” in front, it’s another group entirely.)

Song: Fatal
Artist: The Critical Mass
Album: Critical Mass Volume 1: Armageddon Premium Trailer Music
Copyright: 2011 Josh Mobley

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Download and print three PDF Bookmarks. The first features Six, the human warrior. The second is Pietas, the immortal warrior. The third is the two, back to back. This drawing is to scale: Six is 6′ (1.8m) tall.
Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-six.pdf
Pietas https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas.pdf
Pietas and Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas6.pdf
Download a free adult coloring book you can print and share. Relax and color with friends. It’s fun! https://kayelleallen.com/media/pietas-coloring-book.pdf

Read more →

Remember Everything (5 Finger Death Punch ) #playlist #scifi #chaos

Kayelle Allen 05/13/2016 Music to Write By

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 10 Remember Everything

Remember Everything is a song of pain from the viewpoint of a child who grew up unable to please his father. In chapter one, Pietas faces off against his father, the former Chancellor. As the current Chancellor, Pietas must oversee peace talks between immortals and humans. He and his father are yin and yang. Complete opposites on the spectrum.

***

Pietas dangled a length of fishing line in the water. “How good the weather is on this world. I’m quite pleased with it. If we have to be marooned here, at least we’re not facing constant storms or stuck in a desert.”

“I hope it lasts.”

“You think it won’t?” Pietas craned his neck, but in this part of the creek, under the canopy of trees, the sky showed up as blue specks.

“No place has perfect weather. It must rain sometime. Trees don’t get as big as these or the creek full without rain.”

“Ah, of course. I knew that. My mother is a consummate terraformer. She taught me about the cycles of life and renewal and how planets replenish themselves before I was ten. She made me learn the name of every plant and animal in existence, I think. I got caught up in enjoying the beauty and forgot my lessons.”

“You know, Pietas… It’s okay to admit you forgot a detail.” Six shot him a smile.

“For you, perhaps. Such excuses were unacceptable when I was growing up. Saying I forgot was equivalent to saying please beat me now.”

Six chuckled. “Sounds like a tough childhood.”

“You have no idea.” Pietas settled back against the boulder.

—

Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas
Immortal. Warrior. Outcasts. Traitors took everything. Except their honor.
Free on KindleUnlimited
Amazon http://amzn.to/1R8DAbb
Print http://amzn.to/1SQh1Fb

Remember Everything – Five Finger Death Punch

Song: Remember Everything
Artist: Five Finger Death Punch
Album: American Capitalist
Copyright: 2011 Five Finger Death Punch

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Download and print three PDF Bookmarks. The first features Six, the human warrior. The second is Pietas, the immortal warrior. The third is the two, back to back. This drawing is to scale: Six is 6′ (1.8m) tall.
Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-six.pdf
Pietas https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas.pdf
Pietas and Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas6.pdf
Download a free adult coloring book you can print and share. Relax and color with friends. It’s fun! https://kayelleallen.com/media/pietas-coloring-book.pdf

Read more →

Du Hast (Rammstein) #playlist #scifi #chaos

Kayelle Allen 05/11/2016 Music to Write By

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 3 Du Hast

I could listen to this song for hours (and I have). It’s a favorite because the beat doesn’t stop. But it also has a message that fits Bringer of Chaos. Du Hast is translated to “You Hate” and also “You Have” — which for this book is an amazing connection of two truths.

***

“Did it never occur to you?”

His father faced him. “What?”

“The council elected me to head these talks and removed you. You want to bring in humans. I do not. Perhaps the council hates humans more than you think.”

A wave of aggravation emanated from Mahikos. Licks of emotional flame scorched Pietas’s skin. Accustomed to the pain, he did not flinch.

“Son, surely you realize they elected you to keep you close and control you.”

“To control–” Pietas broke into laughter. “Did they? How unenlightened.” He shrugged. “Well, they can try. I must say, your annoyance today is a refreshing change from your usual indifference. I’d begun wondering if you had any emotions regarding my takeover. It must nettle, knowing your lowly son succeeded your rule.”

“No one would consider you lowly.”

Pietas lifted his chin. “Except you.”

“I’m surprised you even bothered to show up, as much as you hate humans.”

“It’s nothing personal. I hate humans no more than a physician hates germs yet still takes time to eradicate them. Humans are dangerous.”

—

Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas
Immortal. Warrior. Outcasts. Traitors took everything. Except their honor.
Free on KindleUnlimited
Amazon http://amzn.to/1R8DAbb
Print http://amzn.to/1SQh1Fb

Du Hast – Rammstein

Song: Du Hast
Artist: Rammstein
Album: Sehnsucht
Copyright: 1997 Motor Music GmbH

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Download and print three PDF Bookmarks. The first features Six, the human warrior. The second is Pietas, the immortal warrior. The third is the two, back to back. This drawing is to scale: Six is 6′ (1.8m) tall.
Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-six.pdf
Pietas https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas.pdf
Pietas and Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas6.pdf
Download a free adult coloring book you can print and share. Relax and color with friends. It’s fun! https://kayelleallen.com/media/pietas-coloring-book.pdf

Read more →

Deep Six (Marilyn Manson) #playlist #scifi #chaos

Kayelle Allen 05/09/2016 Fallen Empires

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 2 Deep Six

One of the characters in Bringer of Chaos is named Six, and he’s vital to the story. Without Six, there would be no Pietas. I wanted a song that had his name, and Deep Six works on many levels. This song is on an album called Pale Emperor. Since Pietas is an emperor in all but name, and he’s fair and blond, so the album title is fitting. One of the lines is “Deep six, six, six feet deep”, which denotes death. The number six is found throughout the book. Among the places where it’s used: Pietas accidentally knocks over a ceramic statue of a six-headed dragon; he attends peace talks on Enderium Six; there are six steps into the pool where he completes a ritual; and of course, Six is what he calls his guard, who doesn’t trust Pietas enough to reveal his real name. The music of Marilyn Manson’s Deep Six fits well with this snippet of the book. It opens with Pietas speaking.

***

“Don’t say another word, Six. Let me talk to my sister. Don’t get into it with her. I promise you won’t win. She broadcasts chaos as well as I do. Remember, personal chaos makes one prey.”

“I thought you didn’t hold with religion.”

“Not supplication pray. Victim prey.”

“Oh.” Six glanced over at Dessy, back at Pietas. “Gotcha.”

“Are we clear? Don’t get into it with Dessy.”

“Clear.”

[I’ll let you find out how well Six listens. *wink*]

—

Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas
Immortal. Warrior. Outcasts. Traitors took everything. Except their honor.
Free on KindleUnlimited
Amazon http://amzn.to/1R8DAbb
Print http://amzn.to/1SQh1Fb

Deep Six – Marilyn Manson

Song: Deep Six
Artist: Marilyn Manson
Album: The Pale Emperor
Copyright: 2015 KRM

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Download and print three PDF Bookmarks. The first features Six, the human warrior. The second is Pietas, the immortal warrior. The third is the two, back to back. This drawing is to scale. Six is 6′ (1.8m) tall.
Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-six.pdf
Pietas https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas.pdf
Pietas and Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas6.pdf
Download a free adult coloring book you can print and share. Relax and color with friends. It’s fun! https://kayelleallen.com/media/pietas-coloring-book.pdf

Read more →

New Film Festival at @OutlantaCon May 13-15 #scifi #Creedence

Kayelle Allen 05/06/2016 Conventions for Sci Fi Lovers

OutlantaCon has been around for 8 years and has seen a steady increase of attendance. With the growing local film industry we have decided to reach out to filmmakers who share with us a common ground and help showcase their work. This will be our first film festival but we plan to make it a memorable annual event. Outlantacon is an Atlanta-based event for the Queer Geek audience! You’ll find all the usual convention fare here, the difference is that it all has a queer ‘bent’ to it. Here you can enjoy all the convention trappings in an atmosphere where you’re free to be yourself! Let it not be said that this convention is just for LGBT. There are straight people here and there are few more awesome ways to support equal rights than to attend a Convention with such interesting folks.

While there is no specific type of film we are looking for our festival is geared towards the “Geek” and LGBTQ community. Our Short Film Festival looks to bring not just films to our community but also discussions that speak to the contemporary LGBTQ experience.

The festival is for people who are not only coming to watch films but engage in discussion on issues relating to film, fandom and LGBTQ issues around the globe. Visitors, on a lighter note, also have the possibility to meet convention guests and directors behind the films, engaging with known figures in our community who have been in attendance and participating in panel discussions.

We aim to maintain and increase the visibility of the LGBTQ community with the view ultimately to bring around the propagation of a tolerant society where sexual minority groups and individual freedom and choice are both respected and protected.

If you are a filmmaker and would like to be a part of our film festival in Atlanta, Georgia then please submit your work for our consideration.

Film Awards & Prizes

AWARDS

Best first film
Best Narrative Film
Best Documentary
Best Animated Short
Best Performance
Best Cinematography
Best Sound
Best Score
Best Director
Best Production Design
Best Fan Film
Best Student film
Best New Fandom Award

SPONSORED PRIZES

Audience Choice
Best Screen Play
In Our Image Award
The Scream Queen Prize
The John Waters Prize
The Divine Prize
The Frank-N-Furter Prize

When and Where is OutlantaCon?

Friday, May 13th through Sunday May 15th
Atlanta Marriott Century Center/Emory Area
2000 Century Boulevard NE Atlanta GA 30345
More info on the Marriott Reservation page.
The rate is 92.00 USD/night plus applicable taxes for the Thursday to Monday dates of the convention. If you have any problems with the reservation process online call the hotel direct. (404) 325-0000

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Dead is the New Alive (Emilie Autumn) #playlist #scifi #chaos

Kayelle Allen 05/04/2016 Music to Write By

Playlist: Music for a King — Song #1 Dead is the New Alive

When I began writing Bringer of Chaos I knew the main character would be facing the deepest, most horrific betrayal of his immortal life. When I feed the muse in order to write, I use music, and creating the story of Pietas was no exception. I have thousands of songs on iTunes, so I scrolled through the lists, seeking inspiration. I wanted dark songs of pain, but not unrequited love. Pietas was facing a physical trial and his core beliefs about himself would be tested in a crucible. Yet out of that would come the most profound and endearing friendship of his life. This blog post series will describe the songs I listened to while I wrote the book. I’ll give an explanation as to why I chose each one for Pietas, and give you a link to hear them. The songs run the gamut of genres.

The title of Dead is the New Alive and its message of despair and pain amidst the riot of life is especially suitable for Pietas. Because he is immortal, when he dies he always comes back to life. His capture and ordeal mirror the words in Dead is the New Alive.

Here’s a snippet from the book to illustrate it. Pietas, leader of immortals dubbed Ultras, has been imprisoned inside a steel and copper stasis pod, but denied cryogenic sleep. Six, the guard assigned to him, discovers this but is unable to release him. Six does everything in his power to keep Pietas sane. They can’t see one another, and their voices are muffled, so Six stays close to the stasis pod. In this scene, Pietas asks how long until they reach Sempervia, where he will be exiled. He can only say one or two words at a time, because his captors limit his air.

***

Six cleared his throat. “Listen… maybe it’s better you–”

“Say.”

Another pause. “Look, you sure you–”

“Say!”

“The ship’s still in station. It hasn’t even left Enderium Six.”

Still in station? Still in station! He’d thought they’d be halfway there by now. “Long?”

“How long have you been here? Three Terran solar months today. The trip doesn’t start until next week. Supposed to take a year.”

A year!

A year in this netherworld, with no food, no water? Four times longer than he’d already suffered. Every time he died his cells burst and renewed themselves, searing his entire body from the inside out. He’d suffocate in a coffin full of dead cells.

The Ultra metabolism was proof humans had no mercy. Mortal death could never terminate his life. No matter how much he might want it.
—
Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas
Immortal. Warrior. Outcasts. Traitors took everything. Except their honor.
Free on KindleUnlimited
Amazon http://amzn.to/1R8DAbb
Print http://amzn.to/1SQh1Fb

Dead is the New Alive – Emilie Autumn

Song: Dead is the New Alive
Artist: Emilie Autumn
Album: Opheliac (The Deluxe Edition)
Copyright 2009 The End Records

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Download and print three PDF Bookmarks. The first features Six, the human warrior. The second is Pietas, the immortal warrior. The third is the two, back to back. This drawing is to scale. Six is 6′ (1.8m) tall.
Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-six.pdf
Pietas https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas.pdf
Pietas and Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas6.pdf
Download a free adult coloring book you can print and share. Relax and color with friends. It’s fun! https://kayelleallen.com/media/pietas-coloring-book.pdf

Read more →

#starwars Love it or hate it #MaytheFourthBeWithYou

Kayelle Allen 05/03/2016 Humorous Stories

True confession: I am a geek and proud of it. I love StarWars and saw the first movie in a theater when it first came out. I was pregnant with my first child at the time. When StarWars: the Force Awakens came out last year, I took her youngest child to see it. I felt as if I’d gone full circle.

StarWars Opinions

Everyone has an opinion about this series. I won’t go into the platitudes about it or state the obvious about how it changed cinema forever. It’s obvious that it did. The technology to create the first film revolutionized filming. SteadiCam anyone? In the same way, Avatar made 3D a new force to be reckoned with (no pun intended).

When fans say “May the Fourth be with you” on every May 4th, it’s a tribute to the legacy of the series. The Jedi say “May the force be with you” as a means of farewell, and a blessing that is more than “good luck”. The fan phrase is also a reminder of the fun to be had when watching the films. When I saw The Force Awakens I loved seeing all the Easter eggs (references to things fans would recognize). There were entire blogs devoted to listing them. Here’s a trailer that claims to list them ALL.

https://youtu.be/8Rfs8Mx3Xx8

Created by George Lucas, the first film in the series was released in 1977. It began with the Episode 4: A New Hope. Episode 5 and 6 followed, and then several years later, episodes 1, 2, and 3 were released. With episode 7, we are beginning a new leg of the series. It’s a fan joke that we teach our kids to count this way: 4-5-6-1-2-3-7. Seriously, when you ask someone if they’ve seen the first StarWars, they invariably ask “Episode 1 or Episode 4”? Because 4 was the first, but 1 is the fourth, while still technically being the first episode. It’s like being a termite in a yo-yo. You go around and around with this.

But however you add it up, StarWars is one of those series you either love or hate. It’s polarizing, and hard to explain. I guess you’ll have to see it for yourself. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. Whether you are a new fan or one from way back, may the fourth (and the force) be with you.

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Mayday! The Bringer of Chaos is in the house #Chaos #SciFi #Mayday

Kayelle Allen 05/01/2016 Fallen Empires

Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

According to Wikipedia, the phrase Mayday Mayday Mayday is used to signal a life-threatening emergency primarily by aviators and mariners. In some countries local organizations such as firefighters, police forces, and transportation organizations also use the term. The call is always given three times in a row ("Mayday Mayday Mayday") to prevent its being mistaken for some similar-sounding phrase under noisy conditions, and to distinguish an actual Mayday call from a message about a Mayday call. I thought Mayday was a fitting release date for a book about Pietas, known throughout the galaxy as the Bringer of Chaos.

This scifi book is now available on all retailers.

Download the Pietas coloring book and share it with friends.

Read the introduction, a foreward by the hero of the book, below.

You are unworthy, human.

A foreword from Pietas

This book you hold is being presented as fiction, but it did happen. It is as real as the air you breathe. While this is not a first-person story, it follows my point of view.

I would never have allowed a human to know these things, but a friend persuaded me there can be no vengeance unless those in the wrong know what they did. When one has wronged another, one must face the consequences.

Having been persuaded to tell the story, I now allow it to be placed into your hands. I want you to know the truth. Why? Because other Ultras have hidden the truth. Buried it beneath fables and false retellings, as if you were a child unable to bear harsh reality. Unwilling to face the consequences of what your kind has done.

Above all, because I will not lie to you.

When I come for you, I want the satisfaction of seeing your regret for what your ancestors did to my kind. I want to see your fear, and taste your terror.

This is no horror story. It's merely science fiction. Tell yourself it is only fable, if that will help you sleep. By all means, human, do sleep.

Read this, if you dare to know the truth.

~ Pietas

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Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 6 Mind Heist

Mind Heist – Zack Hemsey

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 5 Made of Scars

Made of Scars – Stone Sour

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 4 Fatal

Fatal – The Critical Mass

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 10 Remember Everything

Remember Everything – Five Finger Death Punch

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 3 Du Hast

Du Hast – Rammstein

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Playlist: Music for a King — Song # 2 Deep Six

Deep Six – Marilyn Manson

Giveaways – Free Downloads

Film Awards & Prizes

When and Where is OutlantaCon?

Playlist: Music for a King — Song #1 Dead is the New Alive

Dead is the New Alive – Emilie Autumn

Giveaways – Free Downloads

StarWars Opinions

Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

You are unworthy, human.

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