Writing Pietas Archives - Page 4 of 5

Video: Ritual of Strength performed by Nik Nitsvetov @nitsvetov #PietasFans Bringer of Chaos series by Kayelle Allen #SciFi #Ritual

Kayelle Allen 10/26/2022 Cosplay

In this scene from book 1 of the Bringer of Chaos series, Pietas is preparing for a ritual with his twin sister.

While Pietas readied himself, his sister twirled the dagger, showing off her expertise.

"You know, Pietas, you should let our people know you still do this ceremony. They'd be impressed by your devotion."

"I don't do it to impress anyone. I do it to ready myself for-- Stop!" Dessy had been sliding one fingertip along the edge of the dagger. He removed it from her grasp, and examined the blade.

"Honestly, Pietas! I was just testing the sharpness."

"I didn't want you to cut yourself."

"I'm as adept with blades as you. More so, if you ask me."

"Not the point. If you'd cut yourself, I'd have to consecrate it again. It can only have my blood or my enemy's."

"You think I'm witless? As if I haven't performed this ceremony with you a hundred times. And here I thought you were concerned for my well-being."

"Stop playing. I told you, I'm busy."

She let out a harsh sigh. "Fine. Let's complete the ritual."

Dagger in hand, Pietas unfastened the clip in his hair, and let it fall. The wet tail slapped the middle of his back. He tossed the clip aside, placed the dagger on his palms, and offered it.

She poised her hand above it. "Who offers this weapon?"

"First Conqueror, War Leader of the Ultras."

She took it from him. "For whom are you willing to suffer?"

"I suffer for my people." Pietas turned his cheek.

Dessy slid the knife tip gently along his face, from cheekbone to chin, drawing a thin trail of blood. "For whom do you bleed?"

"I bleed for my people." By the time the first drop of blood had risen, the cut had healed, leaving no scar.

"What sacrifice do you offer as proof of devotion?"

He went to his knees, and lowered his head. Here was the true reason he no longer performed this ritual before his people. Pietas abased himself before no one.

Except the one woman who held the tattered remnants of his trust, and what little remained of his heart.

"I surrender my pride."

His sister went behind him, and gathered his hair in her fist. Using the razor-sharp blade, she sawed through the wet tail. She crossed to the table, and moved the hide back in place.

Pietas picked up the pants as he stood, and slipped them on. He ruffled his fingers through his hair. It hung around his jaw line.

Dessy brushed it back from his face, and thumbed away a smear of blood.

He clasped her wrist. "Take it out of your pocket."

"What?"

"Whatever it is you took."

"I don't--"

He tightened his grip, and she grimaced. "Take it out of your pocket."

"Let me go." She glared in defiance, the ice in her emotions fierce as a blizzard.

He released her, and the room warmed. He held out his hand.

Dessy reached into a pocket and withdrew his tail of hair. "I'm not giving it back."

"It's mine. I intend to burn it."

"I know. That's why I took it."

He tried to snatch it from her.

She slipped out of reach. "It's mine now, and I want it."

He regarded her a long moment. "I see. You want my DNA because you think I'll be defeated."

"Can you imagine Father's face if told him I wanted to recreate you? He'd sooner burn his lab to the ground."

Those words bit his pride, but the truth of her emotions, her love for him, assuaged it. He motioned for her to give it to him. "Now, Dess."

She stuffed it back in her pocket. "I have nothing of yours, and I've always loved your hair. Let me keep it." She added, "Please."

The last time she'd said that word to him, they were sixteen. His decision to comply had cost him his relationship with his father, and ruined what he'd had with her. She had never said please again. Not to him. That ought to be warning enough. But back then, he'd still had a heart that could break.

It wasn't breakable any more.

"It's hair. Not important." He set a fist over his heart, and bowed.

Smiling, she pressed her palms together and put her hands before her mouth. "Thank you. Now, are you ready for the peace talks?"

"No." He squared his shoulders. "I'm ready for war."

The Ritual of Strength series

Credits

My thanks to the performer, Nik Nitsvetov, and photographer Belyaeva Yuliya

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~ Copyright ©2025 Kayelle Allen. All rights reserved ~ Kayelle Allen participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates program, an affiliate advertising program which provides the means for sites to earn fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com. If you purchase an item listed on the site from Amazon.com, Kayelle will earn a small commission. Other sites might be affiliate links as well. These will not result in higher prices for you. Thank you for your support!

My characters may be found in multiple books in my story universe. Pietas images Nik Nitsvetov as Pietas cosplay.

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Sample Ring of the Dragon, a sci-fi MM Romance, part of the #LGBT #Romance #Giveaway

Kayelle Allen 03/05/2021 Fallen Empires

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Where are my plants? #Excerpt Ring of the Dragon #SciFi #Robots

Kayelle Allen 11/04/2020 Fallen Empires 13 Comments

Pietas halted in the doorway. Despite its multiple couches, statues, and art, his stateroom evoked an emotional chill. From the door, nothing broke the stark monotony of white. And why did he care?

Because he'd do anything to impress Cyken.

"Fool that I am." Pietas tapped his bracelet. "Uurah. I ordered plants for my quarters." He crossed to the life-sized statue of Cyken commissioned multiple lifetimes ago. "Where are they?"

"An android crew is on its way, my lord. They should be there any second."

Why had he not noticed a shiny spot on one cheek of the black-and-gold marble? Pietas brushed the back of his fingers across the statue's cheek in a hand-kiss, an affectionate greeting among their people. He did that every time he passed. Had he caused this? Perhaps so. He'd touched it at least once a day, over hundreds... no, thousands of days.

Curious, he turned to the white marble statue outside his bedroom. Two worn places on this one. Cheek and shoulder. A third statue stood further out of his path, but in direct line of sight upon leaving his bedroom. If his gaze had weight, that one would have holes in it.

Here he stood, surrounded by life-sized images of three people he'd loved most, yet feeling more alone than he'd ever been in his immortal life.

The door buzzed, and Pietas tapped his bracelet to open it.

Six androids entered, each carrying a large pot with green plants. "Where would you like these, my lord?"

Another bracelet tap. "Uurah. They want to know where these plants are supposed to go. Get down here and deal with this."

"Yes, my lord. On my way."

Pietas beckoned one of the androids closer and inspected the plant. A robust ivy, common on most worlds. "Uurah, why are they all green? I ordered flowering plants. This room is solid white. I can't greet Cyken in a room that's solid white."

"Three questions."

"Are you on your way? If yes, you may ask."

"I am, my lord. Has Cyken not met with you in that room before?"

What kind of question was that? "You know he has."

"I am confused. Since you have greeted General Cyken there before but now cannot, has something changed in your relationship that I need to be aware of?"

Fates preserve him from literal androids. "No, Uurah. No change. What else?"

"The plants are green and the statue of Cyken is black-and-gold, are they not?"

"Yes, yes." Pietas pressed two fingers against his tight brow. "What's your point?"

"How can the room be solid white if those items are there?"

He stopped himself from snapping a response. Wishing for patience only bred trouble. One did not acquire patience by everything going one's way. He must keep his head while teaching this new variant of Uurah.

What idiot had convinced him upgrading this android again would be worthwhile?

Oh, yes. That would be Cyken. Bless him.

"Uurah, just get down here and bring flowers."

~ * ~
Ring of the Dragon has not yet been released. Although it is complete, it will be released with three other books. Want to know when? Here's how you can discover my new book releases: 1) Sign up for my newsletter. You'll get a five book starter set and other exclusive perks. You can unsubscribe at any time. 2) Follow my Amazon Author Page and get one alert from Amazon when a new story is available. 3) Sign up for AuthorAlarms and the app will send you one email when I release a book. You can add and remove authors on this app at any time.

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Bellicose: (adj) Ready to fight. Said of Pietas #AmWriting #PietasFans #MFRWhooks

Kayelle Allen 02/26/2020 Character Insights 13 Comments

The best way to describe Pietas as a fighter is to let you "see" him in action. Bellicose also means assertive, aggressive, pugnacious, militant, scrappy and in-your-face. The scene below from The Origin of Pietas: Bringer of Chaos, shows him at his fighting best. Come to think of it, bellicose could use a picture of Pietas next to it in the dictionary.

The scene below begins with him trapped in a room with multiple cryogenic pods (life pods) and no air whatsoever. He can hold his breath ten times longer than a human, and they have sent in unarmed fighters because the humans know he will commandeer their weapons in a heartbeat. Pietas is on his side at the back of the room. The "ghosts" are members of Ghost Corps, special ops soldiers who have been resurrected using the blood of Pietas's people.

Listen while you read

On YouTube, the music video Queen's Breach by Critical Mass is listed as "epic action aggressive driving rock powerful". One listen and you'll agree. If that song isn't the bellicose Pietas in action as a fighter, I don't know what is. Read the excerpt below while you listen, and you'll see him in action. I listened to it repeatedly while I choreographed and wrote the fight of his immortal life.

Queen's Breach - The Critical Mass

Song: Queen's Breach
Artist: The Critical Mass
Album: Out of the Ashes: The Critical Mass Collection
Copyright: 2014 Josh Mobley

Bellicose

Remaining on his side, Pietas let them get all the way inside the room.

Crowded as the space was between his pod and the wall, two ghosts crept into it. Six spots of light showed on the other side. Eight ghosts then. That would be a much better fight. One nudged him with a foot.

Suppressing a smile, he continued to play dead.

Ghost One bent down, turned him onto his back.

Pietas let his body flop.

The guy came in closer, checked for a pulse.

He opened his eyes.

The ghost's alarm fed Pietas energy.

He yanked him down, hard, while jamming the heel of his hand up. The ghost's head snapped back, and Pietas felt his bones crack. He shoved him aside and went after Ghost Two.

Pietas gripped his leg and tripped him. He jammed an elbow down onto the man's neck. Bones broke. The ghost's stab of dying fear spiked the energy from the first, and Pietas mixed it with his gift of chaos. He flung the vortex of emotions outward, broadcasting confusion and terror.

He activated his ability called zip. The pseudo speed meant he could move at a regular pace, but humans perceived him as a blur. They could not focus on him long enough to get close. To him, everyone moved in slow motion.

He flipped onto his feet, braced both hands on his pod, and kicked Three and Four square in the chest.

He pushed off the pod, and the momentum carried him straight into the arms of Five and Six. They stumbled backward, tumbling Seven and Eight onto the floor.

Pietas rolled, grabbing Seven. One quick twist of the neck, and another down. Five to go.

Six and Eight flipped themselves to their feet. Three and Four struggled to rise.

Pietas took a running leap and crushed Three's neck. Four raised his hands to shield his face. A swift kick to the head--gone.

Pietas dropped, rolled, came up behind Eight. Broke his neck.

The burning need for air hurt, but there were two to go.

He turned, and a fist caught him in the mouth. Thrown off balance, he danced sideways. Pietas touched his lip, and frowned at the spot of blood. He met the gaze of Ghost Six, who'd punched him.

No human had ever hit him before. Pietas gave a nod.

Five and Six rushed him.

Turning into Five's momentum, Pietas hurled him into the wall, jamming the ghost's head down onto his spine.

He whirled back to find Six standing beside the pod holding Pietas's mother, working the code on a control panel. The ghost held up a warning hand, and poised his other over a bar with flashing red letters: Immolate.

He could kill the ghost without killing his mother. Pietas darted toward him.

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Condescending? But of course. Writing a patronizing character. Pietas Insults #AmWriting #PietasFans #MFRWhooks

Kayelle Allen 02/04/2020 Fallen Empires 12 Comments

How do you know when to dial back a haughty character's arrogance?

Patronizing

A patronizing attitude reveals a character flaw, but it can be entertaining as well. How do you keep from going overboard? Here are 3 ways I found to temper my temperamental immortal king.

1 Do not use a patronizing attitude for no reason. Nothing alienates a reader faster than a character who is nasty to others just for the sake of being nasty. Make insults in the scene spring from an obvious need or cause. In the opening of Origin of Pietas: Bringer of Chaos, Pietas offers a direct insult to his father, but it's in response to his father's callous treatment.

2 Do not substitute a patronizing attitude when a scene calls for action. An action scene such as a fight or physical action can do much to advance the story. If you have your character just be snarky instead of dealing with danger, it comes off as negativity, or worse, as cowardice. Nothing says that you can't have your character mouth off during a fight. The fact that they can deal with physical action and still be able to think of something snarky to say says a lot about a person.

3 Do not allow the character to be verbally vicious unless the scene demands it. There is a big difference between disdain and cruelty. If your character insults someone viciously, ask yourself how that will move the story forward. Will it fuel the plot? Or do you intend the scene to show a major character flaw? If so, show the consequences as early as possible. Your character gets fired, or loses a friend, or someone takes it out on a person they love.

10 patronizing quips by Pietas

Oh, how exciting. (delivered deadpan) One can scarcely articulate the excitement.
I trust people, except for two types: those I know, and those I don't.
You don't wrestle your demons, do you? You cuddle them.
My father does indeed have a heart. It's shaped like a fist.
Am I going to be arrogant my entire life? I think we both know the answer to that question.
I see you're spoiling for a fight. Don't let me stop you. I'm ready to defeat you anytime.
He states the obvious with such an astonishing sense of discovery.
It's not that she's insane. It's that she's a high-functioning basket case.
I won't be there. I don't attend irredeemably boring events.
His life is a pedestrian and lamentable melodrama.

Just as in real life, actions and words have consequences. It's great to show the flaw, but remember to show the result as well.

Pietas inhabits many books in my story universe, including the Bringer of Chaos series, the Antonello Brothers, and Tales of the Chosen. Download a printable PDF list of my books: Booklist

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10 Snarky Ways to Say No: Pietas #SpaceOpera #PietasFans #MFRWhooks

Kayelle Allen 01/22/2020 Fallen Empires 14 Comments

When I started writing about Pietas, he'd been a villain in other books, or at least a bad guy with serious issues. But after writing a couple of stories where he's the actual hero, I know him so much better. One thing I was surprised by is how snarky he is. I thought the immortal king would be much more dignified, but it turns out that around those he trusts, he can more than snarky.

Snarky is as Snarky Does

In fact, I started writing the Bringer of Chaos series so I could understand him. I was working on a book in the Antonello Brothers series and could not get Pietas to do what I wanted him to do. He wouldn't be the villain, no matter how much I tried to write him that way.

In exasperation, I told a friend about my problem and she suggested interviewing him. She'd call me on Skype and I would answer as Pietas. I would role play the character and free associate his answers. It opened my eyes to an entirely new aspect of my immortal king.

The Bringer of Chaos series was born from that interview.

An anti-hero is a protagonist but one who doesn't have the usual characteristics that would make them heroes (or heroines). Batman is a perfect example. He's a vigilante. He works outside the law. But we all root for him.

Here's what I've learned about writing anti-heroes in a nutshell. They have:

Character flaws
Complex motives
Internal conflicts
Issues with intimacy
Generally a realist

Character Flaws

With Pietas, I started listing his flaws and decided which two or three would be the ones I'd focus on. What are they? His are many, but I'll start with one that I showed on the first page of Origin of Pietas: Bringer of Chaos.

Perfectionism

He hates it when people mispronounce his name. I could have written "He hated it when people mispronounced his name." But where's the fun in that? It tells. I prefer to show. So I wrote a scene where he sees a video in which the media accuses him of a misdeed. I wrote:

At her mispronunciation of his name, he gritted his teeth. "My name is pronounced Pee-ah-toss, thank you. Not Pie-ah-toss. Pee-ah-toss. It's six letters. How hard is that to get right?" He stormed away from the podium.

By having him react strongly to the error, it reveals one of his flaws and a bit of his character.

Snarky

Pietas often chooses insults over tact. One way that shows best is when he's asked to do something he'd rather not do. Here are ten snarky ways Pietas might tell someone "no."

No, but do you know who would love doing that? Someone with less intelligence.
Try asking someone else. I'm too smart.
I would love to, but I'm planning a much more interesting nap.
Has the netherworld frozen solid? If so, then by all means, yes.
That sounds like a job for someone incapable of thinking past point A.
I'm sure there are worse ways to do that, but I can't think of any.
I was going to suggest you stop acting stupid, but I realized you weren't acting.
My original misconceptions of your idea have proven true.
If you don't want a sarcastic answer, then don't ask a stupid question.
Would you like me to spell the word NO for you?

Lovable

Pietas is lovable despite his mistakes, and he forgives mistakes in others. Here's a quick excerpt from Forged in Fire: Bringer of Chaos for example. In this scene, Joss, one of the warriors with whom Pietas has had a long relationship, keeps taking them in circles on the way back to camp. His usual snarky attitude gives way to tenderness.

"Joss, you've been saying 'not far' for hours. Did I not teach you to mark trails?"

"I'm sorry, Pietas. It won't happen again."

Oh, but it would. She wouldn't mean for it to happen, but it would. He'd tried for centuries to teach her how to find her way, to no avail. He kissed her cheek and drew her into his arms, savoring her warmth.

"Joss." He placed his mouth near her ear. "You couldn't find your way out of a round room with one door."

She jerked up her head and looked at him, eyes wide.

"And I adore you for it."

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How to Watch Nik @Nitsvetov perform as the Bringer of Chaos #PietasFans #Cosplay #SciFi

Kayelle Allen 07/24/2019 Cosplay 2 Comments

Meet the Bringer of Chaos Cosplayer: Nik Nitsvetov

When I first saw Nik Nitsvetov, he was portraying Sephiroth from Final Fantasy. But the expression on his face close up was pure Pietas. It was months before I discovered he had an Instagram account. I signed up so I could follow him.

My mother was an artist who was admired by those who saw her work. She always longed to have more of her art seen and appreciated, so I understand how important it is to support artists. When I find artists I admire, I find ways to encourage them to create and do everything possible to enable their abilities. Most of the time, a simple note of appreciation does wonders.

When Nik began his Patreon account, I was the second person to support him. I'd have been first if I'd known about it sooner, but it took months for me to get up the courage to ask if he'd cosplay Pietas for me. When he wanted to know more, I was both shocked and excited. I couldn't wait to figure out how all this would work. He performed as the Bringer of Chaos cosplayer in September 2018.

Not only did I get amazing photographs of him (they are all over this site), I also got to see part of it live on Instagram.

If you're not sure whether I'm a fan of Nik's, you seriously have not been paying attention. I even created a tribute page for him on this site.

Chaos Cosplayer #2

This year, Nik is creating another cosplay as Pietas, but this one will be the immortal king as soldier. Nik is hand-making the uniform and has been sharing snippets of it on Instagram. Follow Nik to see all the details.

Want an update and advance news when the cosplay will occur? You can make your Chaos Cosplayer Reservation now. Add your email and you'll get advance notice about the cosplay. I anticipate it sometime in August 2019. I'm not sure if there will be others in the future, so please do sign up so you'll know what to expect. (You can opt to receive other emails later. This will be used just for the Chaos Cosplayer Reservation.)

Download a printable book list or a list of trigger warnings for all books. Claim your immortality by signing up for my newsletter

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~ Copyright ©2025 Kayelle Allen. All rights reserved ~ Kayelle Allen participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates program, an affiliate advertising program which provides the means for sites to earn fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com. If you purchase an item listed on the site from Amazon.com, Kayelle will earn a small commission. Other sites might be affiliate links as well. These will not result in higher prices for you. Thank you for your support!

My characters may be found in multiple books in my story universe. Pietas images Nik Nitsvetov as Pietas cosplay.

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A Wound of the Heart: Forged in Fire #MFRWhooks #SciFi #Pietas

Kayelle Allen 11/01/2017 Fallen Empires 6 Comments

Welcome to MFRW Book Hooks. Members of Marketing for Romance Writers holds this weekly blog hop as a way to encourage active participation in the group and with each other. A Wound of the Heart: Forged in Fire is the name of a “behind the scenes” booklet for my upcoming book, Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire, a fast-paced Sci Fi military romance set in the far future. That booklet will be out Nov 10th in time for the Forged in Fire Cover Reveal Tour. Link coming soon.

The actual book is out Dec 29, 2017. Join the Romance Lives Forever Reader Group to be in on special events surrounding the book release.

A Wound of the Heart

From Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire

Humans created a genetically enhanced race to defend mankind. Instead, the Ultras became humanity’s greatest threat. Traitors among them helped humans imprison half a million and exile them on an alien world.

Pietas has no tech, tools, or resources, but he vows to unite and avenge the Ultra people. First, he must regain command from a ruthless adversary he’s fought for centuries–his brutal, merciless father.

Ultras are immortal, and with few exceptions, they revive after death. Some injuries heal instantly. A few take time. But battered trust and a broken heart… That pain lasts forever.

Forged in Fire is the sequel to Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas. Forged is written in a way that lets you read it alone, yet hints at details in the first book. To get the full saga, read both. Pietas is ultra worthy of many books. In fact, he has appeared in nearly all my Tarthian Empire series stories. He even has his own Facebook page. Check out images that tell his story on the Bringer of Chaos Pinterest page, especially if you like dragons.

Look for a new Book Hooks next week.

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Layering emotion into characters: Writing Pietas #writerslife #writers

Kayelle Allen 09/25/2017 Kayelle Allen

What does layering emotion into characters mean? Isn’t writing: “No!” he screamed angrily telling instead of showing? Yes, it is. So how do you add emotion without telling the reader what the emotion is? Here’s how to show, not tell.

To layer emotion, look at two things.

To add emotion to your writing, look at verbs and nouns. Before you heave something at the screen, let me show you what I mean. This is the opening paragraph of my upcoming military science fiction novel, Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire. I wanted to show that the main character, Pietas, is unhappy about being in a dark forest. He feels trapped. It’s closing in on him, but you can’t write that. It’s telling. So I focused on words that had a negative connotation instead. Here’s the first paragraph:

Would this incessant nightmare of darkness never end? The steaming, lightless rainforest stank of alien spores and enough flowers to choke the dead. Let the others inhale all they wanted, but this cloying scent left a sickening taste in his mouth. Pietas gagged, but controlled his stomach.

Verbs

Here is the same paragraph with the verbs highlighted in red.

Would this incessant nightmare of darkness never end? The steaming, lightless rainforest stank of alien spores and enough flowers to choke the dead. Let the others inhale all they wanted, but this cloying scent left a sickening taste in his mouth. Pietas gagged, but controlled his stomach.

The first verb, would, is passive, but used to ask a question with a negative connotation, which lends power. The rest have their own inferences, mostly negative. Since the goal is to show the character feels trapped, using verbs with negative concepts helps set the emotional stage.

Examine the verbs in your own first paragraph, or whatever section you think needs more emotional impact. How can you alter them to convey the emotion your character is experiencing? Is it positive?

Here’s the same paragraph, in the same location, experienced by a person who loves the setting.

The enveloping darkness cocooned him like warm gloves, blocking unwelcome light and filling the air with the scent of flowers. Others in his party failed to appreciate the floating spores and drifting pollen; he glimpsed the magnificence of this alien world through its ancient forest. He inhaled, drawing in its sweet fragrance.

By describing the setting with an eye toward emotional descriptions, you can alter the reader’s perception and let them see the character’s point of view.

[bctt tweet=”Writers build emotion by choosing powerful verbs and nouns” username=”kayelleallen”]

Nouns

Here’s the paragraph with nouns highlighted in red.

Would this incessant nightmare of darkness never end? The steaming, lightless rainforest stank of alien spores and enough flowers to choke the dead. Let the others inhale all they wanted, but this cloying scent left a sickening taste in his mouth. Pietas gagged, but controlled his stomach.

It evokes uneasiness with words like nightmare, darkness, spores, dead. The adjectives and adverbs around the nouns add to it: incessant, never, steaming, lightless, alien, wanted, cloying, sickening. All the words are negative or lean toward the negative. In the end, the reader knows exactly what the character is feeling without coming out and telling them.

By the next page, Pietas finally escapes the gloomy forest. The paragraph that describes his joy never says “He was happy” but you get it. He burst into the welcome light, squinting and shielding his face. After hours tramping through deep shadow, the noonday heat caressed his head and shoulders like a friend, hoped for but long lost.

Build emotion by choosing powerful verbs and nouns that evoke the feeling you want to convey. Your readers will fall in love with the story, empathize with the characters, and scout out more of your work.

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When Your Villain isn’t a Villain #writerslife #amediting

Kayelle Allen 07/28/2017 Character Insights

Villain: wicked or evil person; someone who does evil deliberately; principal bad character in a film or work of fiction (WordWeb). I’d like to add to that: character who refuses to cooperate with your plot.

I started with the definition of villain so we both speak the same language. Mine was named Pietas and he was the bad guy in a book I’d written, edited, rewritten, re-edited, and restarted nine times since 2008.

I picked it back up, considered it, and set it aside again multiple more times before I realized my problem was not with the plot, the hero, or the concept. It was the villain.

My problem was with my immortal Ultra, Pietas.

He would not do any of the things I thought a bad guy should do. Seriously? A villain who doesn’t even swear? What kind of bad guy is that? Although he had used a “bad word” in a book no longer in print, that was me badly writing his character to fit my “vision” of who he was. It felt wrong at the time but I didn’t listen to my gut. I should have.

Like any proper scoundrel, Pietas was cold and inhuman and his followers obeyed him without question. But unlike the usual dastardly-deed-doer, the minions of Pietas followed him out of loyalty. I’d missed something in creating this villain of mine and I didn’t know what it was. I figured I had to either put the book away forever or find a way to make Pietas behave.

Those who know the Bringer of Chaos are laughing right now. Make Pietas do what? Right!

Talking to a writer friend, I lamented about this frustrating villain and how difficult it was to write about a narcissistic sociopath. She laughed in my face and informed me I couldn’t be more wrong. He was not a villain at all, but a passionate, honorable, and humble man who’d been put in a position of being the heavy.

To which I replied, “No, no. I’m talking about Pietas.” Turned out, so was she. Obviously, I had missed far more than I suspected. But what?

With her help, we set up an “interview” where she would ask me questions and I would answer as Pietas in a free association format. This is a thought process in which ideas, words or images suggest other ideas in a sequence. Using what I already knew about him, I would try to figure out how he’d answer. I’d role play. Why not? Pietas was not only the king of the immortals in my story, he was the Gamemaster in the role-playing game they all obsessed over: Peril.

We agreed to record it so I could go back and listen again. She would ask open-ended questions that couldn’t be answered “yes” or “no” which would elicit conversation. We talked for well over an hour. She asked “Pietas” about his father, how he felt about his mother, why he did not get along with his sister, and why he was so hung up on a previous lover. What had happened to him as a child that made him angry now? What did he hope to accomplish?

By the end, I had a far deeper understanding of the immortal king. I got to know the real person and not the superficial character I’d written. What showed up in other books was the person he presented to the world. In reality, the psychotic front he showed to others was not at all who he was.

That insight changed everything.

I got to work writing his story instead of the one I’d wanted. When I finished Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas and released it, one reviewer said “He’s painted as a complete psycho in other books. It’s really great to get some insight into who he truly is.” Readers told me they felt Pietas was a real person and I was channeling his energy. My heart sang. I’d accomplished my purpose and revealed the true person to the world. Although, now I had to deal with Pietas, who wasn’t all that happy about the big reveal! I’ve sweet-talked him into bringing his truth into the light, so we should see several more books in his series.

I’ve been busy writing the sequel to the Origin of Pietas. I’m on the last few pages now. Here’s the blurb for the new book, Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire. (updated cover on the way)

Reviving after death isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and wounds of the heart take forever.

When Pietas reunites with the immortal Ultra people he was born to lead, they reject his human friend, Six, a member of Ghost Corps. Ghosts, their most feared adversaries, are resurrected special ops soldiers who possess enough strength to perma-kill Ultras.

Six is taken hostage, and Pietas must free his friend, deal with the brutal father he’s detested since childhood, make amends with his sister, and rescue his ailing mother. Meanwhile, the tempestuous affair he rekindles with a beautiful, telepathic warrior he’s adored for centuries lays bare long-held and deadly secrets.

The gift of telepathy he’s always wished for activates at the worst possible time, but it gives him one huge advantage. He bonds with an ally who harbors every bit as much hatred for his father as Pietas does: a tribe of genetically enhanced panthers. As much as he loves these noble creatures, connecting with their feral bloodlust threatens to undermine his legendary self-control.

How can he even hope love will withstand the unstoppable berserker rage within the Bringer of Chaos? If it can’t, Ghost Corps will be the last thing Ultras need to fear.
—
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