Bringer of Chaos Archives - Page 24 of 30

What a telepath focuses upon, she controls #SciFi #MFRWhooks #MFRWauthor

Kayelle Allen 10/11/2017 Fallen Empires 8 Comments

In this scene from Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire, Pietas and the search party sent to find him have stopped their upward mountain trek for a short break. Prior to their reunion the previous day, Pietas had spent a year in confinement, hands bound behind him. He’d been starved to the point of death, but because he’s immortal, could not die. Although he has healed since, the brutality left a lasting toll on his once robust physical body. As they prepare to get underway, he unwittingly reveals the impairment. To a telepath…
—

Wincing, Pietas stretched to ease cramps in his back.

His sister stood. “Tas!” she called up to him. She’d started using her childhood name for him since they’d reconnected the day before. “Are you hurt?”

A quick telepathic scan from Joss swept over him before he realized it was there. Pietas had still been a teenager when she’d trained him to shield his mind from those with her gift. Not that he’d ever been able to block her. She was far too powerful, but today, she’d read him with no more difficulty than a hunter spying trail signs. He’d been near no Ultra telepaths for over a year.

His affinity with Six had made him careless and he’d neglected the basic lessons Joss had taught him.

It wasn’t a lack of trust. Trust had never been an issue with Joss.

He treasured her, but he ought not to have been so unguarded and open. Vulnerable.

“Pietas.” Joss stood. The waves of emotion he picked up from her held love and concern in equal measure. And a bit of disappointment. “You’re injured.”

He ducked his head like a schoolboy who’d forgotten his lessons. Admit mortals had damaged him? Never. Neither would he lie about it. He’d take better care to hide the pain.

“Don’t worry about me.” Whistling, he circled a finger in the air. “Let’s go! Long climb ahead.” He leaped down from the rocks. “Joss, you lead.” Last thing he wanted was her behind him, using him as an object of focus.

What telepaths focused upon, they controlled.

Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire
Science fiction with romantic elements
Rated PG13 for violence (no explicit content or profanity)
Humans created a genetically enhanced race to defend mankind. Instead, the Ultras became humanity’s greatest threat. Traitors among them help humans imprison half a million and exile them on an alien world.
Pietas has no tech, tools, or resources, but he vows to unite and avenge the Ultra people. First, he must regain command from a ruthless adversary he’s fought for centuries–his brutal, merciless father.
Ultras are immortal, and with few exceptions, they revive after death. Some injuries heal instantly. A few take time. But battered trust and a broken heart… That pain lasts forever.
This military science fiction novel is scheduled for a December 29th release.
Publisher Romance Lives Forever Books
Genre science fiction with romantic elements
Rating PG13 for science fiction violence (no explicit content or profanity)
Length about 74,000 words / 300 pages
To take part in an exclusive pre-release online party and get advance notice of its availability, join the Romance Lives Forever Reader Group. You’ll also get free books and other downloads and goodies.

The prequel for Forged in Fire is Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas. Next book in the series is Bringer of Chaos: Watch Your Six.

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That feeling when you think you’re explaining–but you’re not #Pietas #scifi #MFRWhooks

Kayelle Allen 09/27/2017 Fallen Empires 16 Comments

In this scene from the military science fiction novel Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire, the hero, Pietas, has discovered a familiar item on an alien world. He points it out to Six, explaining in detail so his friend will understand.

Explaining isn’t always easy

Not far from the waterfall, they found sandy soil and the start of shrub with orange blossoms.

“Look, Six.” Pietas stooped to run a finger across the plant’s dense florets.

“It’s like a cross between daisies and sunflowers. What is it?”

“Helichrysum. There are over six hundred species of this plant on Earth. They come in every color except blue, although my mother’s been working on that. You’d know it as Strawflower or Immortelle. It’s edible as a seasoning.” He picked a leaf, sniffed it, held it for Six to smell.

“Reminds me of my grandmother’s kitchen. Like rosemary.”

“The oil is good for arthritis. Joint pain. Clear skin.” Standing, Pietas brushed off his hands. “There’s a break in the growth up ahead.” He approached and went down on one knee.

Six squatted beside him, boots crunching the dry soil. “You know, we’d have made it here a lot quicker if you didn’t have to study every plant we came across.”

“I don’t study them. I identify them. But I’m not looking at plants here.” He pointed. “This is a trail. The tracks are from ungulates. Popular with terraformers. They put them on every colonized world. These are artiodactyla, to be precise. Bovidae. Probably a derivative of aepyceros melampus.“

“You know, Pi, when you say things like that, you think you’re explaining, but you’re really not.”

“Animals with split hooves. Even-toed. Lightweight impalas. Antelopes.”

“What, you couldn’t say antelopes?”

“I just did.” Pietas got up, dusted off his ragged pants.

Six stood. “So, this is how it’s going to be?”

The other immortals had gathered a small distance away. Pietas shot them a glare and they scattered, pretending not to listen.

He returned his attention to Six. “How what’s going to be?”

“You’re back among your own people, so you talk like them. Showing off your three thousand years of education.”

“Hard to do since I’m not yet two thousand. My mother was chief scientist in the terraforming industry. She fed me taxonomy along with my milk.”

“Taxonomy?”

“Classification of organisms by structure and origin. As in, I’m Ceramin perpetualis. You’re Humanus originalis. Or you were. Your metamorphosis makes you Humanus pseudo-perpetualis, or something similar. I thought mortals taught this.”

“Well, excuse me! But my fourteen years of school didn’t quite prepare me for the level of science you take for granted.”

“You have that much education?”

Six’s dark eyes narrowed in a warning.

Despite himself, Pietas laughed. Drawing Six away from the others, he leaned in close. “I apologize. I was showing off.”

“Thank you. My point.”

“No, no. I wasn’t apologizing for speaking above your level of understanding. I teach you. Do I not?”

“Well, yeah, so what’s the apology for?”

“Showing off in front of my people.”

“Showing off how?”

“Banter. Joking with you. Most of them,” he nodded toward the four immortals, “have never had what I have.”

“Which is?”

Did the man not see it? Pietas smiled. “A human friend.”

Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire
Rated PG13 for violence (no explicit content or profanity)
Humans created a genetically enhanced race to defend mankind. Instead, the Ultras became humanity’s greatest threat. With the help of traitors, humans captured half a million of them.
Exiled to an alien world with no tech, tools, or resources, their leader, Pietas, must unite them. Before he can, he must regain command from a ruthless adversary he’s fought for centuries–his brutal, merciless father.
Ultras are immortal, and no matter how they die, they come back. Reviving after death isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Some injuries heal instantly. A few take time. The pain of battered trust and a broken heart, though… That lasts forever.

This book will be released soon and is subject to final edits. The final version may be slightly different from the one presented here. Please join the Romance Lives Forever Reader Group — you’ll get four free books right away and be the first to know when the book is available.

Read book 1: Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas, available free on Kindle Unlimited
Amazon https://amzn.to/28QOTpb

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Layering emotion into characters: Writing Pietas #writerslife #writers

Kayelle Allen 09/25/2017 Kayelle Allen

What does layering emotion into characters mean? Isn’t writing: “No!” he screamed angrily telling instead of showing? Yes, it is. So how do you add emotion without telling the reader what the emotion is? Here’s how to show, not tell.

To layer emotion, look at two things.

To add emotion to your writing, look at verbs and nouns. Before you heave something at the screen, let me show you what I mean. This is the opening paragraph of my upcoming military science fiction novel, Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire. I wanted to show that the main character, Pietas, is unhappy about being in a dark forest. He feels trapped. It’s closing in on him, but you can’t write that. It’s telling. So I focused on words that had a negative connotation instead. Here’s the first paragraph:

Would this incessant nightmare of darkness never end? The steaming, lightless rainforest stank of alien spores and enough flowers to choke the dead. Let the others inhale all they wanted, but this cloying scent left a sickening taste in his mouth. Pietas gagged, but controlled his stomach.

Verbs

Here is the same paragraph with the verbs highlighted in red.

The first verb, would, is passive, but used to ask a question with a negative connotation, which lends power. The rest have their own inferences, mostly negative. Since the goal is to show the character feels trapped, using verbs with negative concepts helps set the emotional stage.

Examine the verbs in your own first paragraph, or whatever section you think needs more emotional impact. How can you alter them to convey the emotion your character is experiencing? Is it positive?

Here’s the same paragraph, in the same location, experienced by a person who loves the setting.

The enveloping darkness cocooned him like warm gloves, blocking unwelcome light and filling the air with the scent of flowers. Others in his party failed to appreciate the floating spores and drifting pollen; he glimpsed the magnificence of this alien world through its ancient forest. He inhaled, drawing in its sweet fragrance.

By describing the setting with an eye toward emotional descriptions, you can alter the reader’s perception and let them see the character’s point of view.

[bctt tweet=”Writers build emotion by choosing powerful verbs and nouns” username=”kayelleallen”]

Nouns

Here’s the paragraph with nouns highlighted in red.

It evokes uneasiness with words like nightmare, darkness, spores, dead. The adjectives and adverbs around the nouns add to it: incessant, never, steaming, lightless, alien, wanted, cloying, sickening. All the words are negative or lean toward the negative. In the end, the reader knows exactly what the character is feeling without coming out and telling them.

By the next page, Pietas finally escapes the gloomy forest. The paragraph that describes his joy never says “He was happy” but you get it. He burst into the welcome light, squinting and shielding his face. After hours tramping through deep shadow, the noonday heat caressed his head and shoulders like a friend, hoped for but long lost.

Build emotion by choosing powerful verbs and nouns that evoke the feeling you want to convey. Your readers will fall in love with the story, empathize with the characters, and scout out more of your work.

Whom will you believe, human? #Pietas #SciFi #MFRWhooks

Kayelle Allen 09/20/2017 Fallen Empires 10 Comments

This week’s BookHooks offers a sneak peek at my upcoming book, a military science fiction novel with romantic elements. Will you believe the truth when you see it? Think so? Read on, human. Pietas has advice for you.

About Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire

(Book 2 in the Bringer of Chaos series)

Humans created the Ultras, a genetically enhanced race, to defend mankind. Instead, Ultras became their greatest threat. With the help of traitors, humans captured half a million of the immortal warriors.

Exiled to an alien world with no tech, no tools, and no resources, their leader, Pietas must protect his people, find food and shelter and unite them. But before he can, he must regain command from a ruthless adversary he’s fought for centuries–his brutal, merciless father.

Ultras are immortal, and no matter how they die, they come back. Reviving after death isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Some wounds heal instantly and a few take time, but battered and broken trust? Immortals may heal, but a wound of the heart lasts forever.

Who will you believe, human?

The foreword of this book is from Pietas, the hero.

    It’s human nature to lie. Telling the truth is mine. Why? First, because honoring my word means more to me than life. Second, though humans are craven, distasteful, reprehensible supplanters of power, I acknowledge you need the truth. Third, because others of my people have lied to you. They conceal themselves among you, claiming we are myth. They feed you false hope that you are safe. They lull you into complacent ignorance. The deceivers among my kind want to manipulate and confuse you.
     You believe them.
     You’ve heard tales of visitors from outer space. Stories of aliens who walk among you. You call them urban legends, myths, tall tales for the campfire. Their lies have fooled you.
     You believe them.
     This book relates my tale but is not from my point of view. Call it Science Fiction, but it did happen. My dimension might not be yours, but I exist. To honor a worthy human friend, I considered sparing humanity. I have since seen the folly of blanket exemption. Not all humans deserve to die, but there are requirements for being protected. I will choose few. Would I deem you worthy of being chosen?
     Perhaps. I offer no guarantee. Your fate is a bequest no one can usurp.
     Believe me.
     Read this, if you dare to know the truth.
     ~ Pietas

Read book 1: Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas

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The sting of emotions bombarded Pietas #SciFi #PietasFans

Kayelle Allen 09/13/2017 Fallen Empires 10 Comments

When I wrote Bringer of Chaos, I knew the hero would not be a sympathetic character. I didn't expect him to change, but as I wrote, trying to understand him, I began to see my initial perception was false. He is an anti-hero but there is a nobility about him that I never suspected. In the scene below, the Ultra Council has agreed to meet on a neutral starport for peace talks with humans. No one will believe him when he warns it's a trap, so Pietas decides to push the humans into showing their hand.
---

Emotions Bombarded Pietas

At the appointed time, Pietas entered the elevator with the Council, ignoring the warning looks from his father. His mother tugged his father to the rear of the elevator, and cast a hopeful smile at her son. Seeing the two of them together, with his father newly reborn and his mother aged, reflected their differences. He had always been hot-tempered; she, wise.

Pietas turned away, wishing he did not have to disappoint her, but he could not in good conscience carry out the Council's command. Lock his people into a treaty with these oath breakers? Never.

The entire Council would be furious with him. As usual.

His sister, Dessy, arrived as the doors were closing, and slid into place on his right as second-in-command.

On her bosom sat an oval-shaped gold and black brooch, the glass front of which revealed a plait of his hair stolen after the ritual they'd performed. She'd interwoven it into a complex pattern. His sister said nothing, but he felt her empathic outpouring of assent. Yet despite her emotional support, she had voted against him.

Would he never understand this woman? Shoulder to shoulder they faced front.

The sting of emotions bombarded Pietas from all angles. His skin twitched and he rubbed his arms as if cold. What hid within the jumbled emotions?

A cadre of humans waited in the assigned receiving chamber. Ten humans would be given in exchange for ten members of the Ultra Council, as Mahikos and the Council had requested. While the Ultras were on board Enderium Six, the humans would act as hostages. If anything happened to the Ultras, the humans would die lingering deaths.

A crawling-ant sensation on his skin escalated to a sting. These creatures hid some secret he did not yet fathom. Pietas bit the inside of his cheek, fighting the urge to lash out, to rip away the life of these mortals.

As agreed, the Council members had come unarmed. Ultras didn't need weapons. They were weapons.

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~ Copyright ©2025 Kayelle Allen. All rights reserved ~ Kayelle Allen participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates program, an affiliate advertising program which provides the means for sites to earn fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com. If you purchase an item listed on the site from Amazon.com, Kayelle will earn a small commission. Other sites might be affiliate links as well. These will not result in higher prices for you. Thank you for your support!

My characters may be found in multiple books in my story universe. Pietas images Nik Nitsvetov as Pietas cosplay.

Humans were made to be ruled #SciFi #Pietas #MFRWhooks

Kayelle Allen 09/06/2017 Fallen Empires 11 Comments

“Humans were made to be ruled.” A scene from Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas (Military Sci Fi, Soldiers, Bad Boys, Adventure, and Angst) In this snippet, Pietas receives an ultimatum.

The leaders of his people gathered in sleep around Pietas, sealed inside their curved, steel stasis tubes.

“You think to imprison me? You think to bring me down like a hunted animal?” He indicated the other life-pods. “I will not cower before you. I will not bow. I will not kneel. I will not serve. I will never submit. Humans were made to be ruled, not by my people, but by me.”

The silhouettes above him contrasted with the bright light behind them. One by one, they slipped away, until one remained.

“Fighting us accomplishes nothing.” The disembodied voice echoed in the chamber. “Enter the pod, Pietas, or we’ll siphon the air. You’ll die.”

“I’ll revive. I’ve died countless times. I do not fear death. Death fears me.”

[bctt tweet=”I do not fear death. Death fears me. –Pietas” username=”kayelleallen”]

Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas
Why should Pietas end the war with humans?

His people are winning, yet they insist on peace talks. The Ultra people want to grant humans a seat on the Council. Pietas ap Lorectic, Chancellor of the High Council, War Leader and First Conqueror, disagrees. What’s best for mortals is oppression, control, and if necessary, elimination.
Pietas seethes with rage at the idea of human equality. Humans might have created Ultras, but the creation has far surpassed the creator. Humans die. Ultras are reborn, no matter how grievous the injury. They have no equals.
His people permit him no choice. He must attend these insipid peace talks on Enderium Six and what’s worse, be polite. To humans.

Available free on Kindle Unlimited
Amazon https://amzn.to/28QOTpb
Get an illustrated book of quotes by Pietas

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Just Like Old Times: Everyone’s Angry #scifi #MFRWhooks

Kayelle Allen 08/09/2017 Character Insights 2 Comments

BookHooks is a blog hop where authors share only a small snippet of a story, an enticement to read more. Today’s snippet is from Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas.

In this scene from Bringer of Chaos, Pietas is returning from a meeting where he refused to accept the ten hostages offered by a group of humans. He insisted on thirty hostages instead. His parents, both former leaders and still on the council, argue.
—

His parents trailed him back toward private quarters. “Pietas,” his mother called. “Wait!”

For her, he stopped, and turned around.

Small compared to most Ultras, and delicate of face, Helia ap Lorectic was as tough as any soldier. Like him and his father, she possessed an eidetic memory, and a fine scientific mind. If anyone was the hope of their people, it was she.

“Pietas, you know this is wrong. We agreed to those terms before we arrived.”

“It is not wrong, Mother, and the terms were made by the previous council head, not by me.” He opened the door to his quarters, and turned back to Helia. “They’ll agree to my terms or they’ll die.”

Mahikos stepped in front of his wife. “You will destroy these talks, you inflexible, intractable narcissist!”

“Why, Father. I’m impressed you know words that big. Thank you.”

The man lurched toward him.

“Stop it!” Helia positioned herself between the two. “Pietas, please. It took–”

“No, Mother. I never negotiate with humans from a position of fear.”

Mahikos jabbed a finger toward him. “You never negotiate at all.”

“Your precious humans have five minutes.” He shut the door in the man’s face.

His father’s shout of anger followed, and then his mother’s calmer tones, soothing. The thud of a fist rattled the door before Mahikos gave way to whatever it was Helia was saying to him.

“Just like old times.” His message board lit up. Furious texts and outraged faces filled the screen. “It seems I made every council member angry at the same time. How efficient of me.”
—
Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas

The immortal Pietas leads the fight against his people’s oppressors: humans. To end the war and save his kind, he agrees to peace talks. But when he attends, he’s betrayed, trapped within an unpowered lifepod, and left to die. His unlikely ally is Six, a human. Though he captured Pietas, he had no part in his betrayal. Together, they must cross an alien world and find the other Ultras. That is, if they can overcome their desire to kill one another…
Genre Military Sci Fi, Soldiers, Bad Boys, Adventure, and Angst
Available free on Kindle Unlimited
Amazon https://amzn.to/28QOTpb
Amazon print https://amzn.to/1SSmueB
Romance Lives Forever Books (autographed copy) http://bit.ly/boc1-rlfb

What little remained of his heart… #SciFi #MFRWhooks

Kayelle Allen 08/02/2017 Character Insights 10 Comments

In this scene from Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas, the hero is performing a ritual to prepare for war. He’s asked his twin sister to assist him. The one woman who held the tattered remnants of his trust and what little remained of his heart. Yet no one had ever betrayed him as cruelly.

What little remained of his heart…

Dessy twirled the dagger. “You should let our people know you still do this ceremony. They’d be impressed by your devotion.”

“I don’t do it to impress anyone. I do it to ready myself for– Stop!” She had been sliding one fingertip along the edge of the dagger. Pietas removed it from her grasp, and examined the blade.

“Honestly, Pietas! I was just testing the sharpness.”

“I didn’t want you to cut yourself.”

“I’m as adept with blades as you. More so, if you ask me.”

“Not the point. If you’d cut yourself, I’d have to consecrate it again. It can only have my blood or my enemy’s.”

“You think I’m witless? As if I haven’t performed this ceremony with you a hundred times. And here I thought you were concerned for my well-being.”

“Stop playing. I told you, I’m busy.”

She let out a harsh sigh. “Fine. Let’s complete the ritual.”

Dagger in hand, Pietas unfastened the clip in his hair, and let it fall. The wet tail slapped the middle of his back. He tossed the clip aside, placed the dagger on his palms, and offered it.

She poised her hand above it. “Who offers this weapon?”

“First Conqueror, War Leader of the Ultras.”

She took it from him. “For whom are you willing to suffer?”

“I suffer for my people.” Pietas turned his cheek.

Dessy slid the knife tip along his face, from cheekbone to chin, drawing a thin trail of blood. “For whom do you bleed?”

“I bleed for my people.” By the time the first drop of blood had risen, the cut had healed, leaving no scar.

“What sacrifice do you offer as proof of devotion?”

He went to his knees, and lowered his head. Here was the true reason he no longer performed this ritual before his people. Pietas abased himself before no one.

Except the one woman who held the tattered remnants of his trust, and what little remained of his heart.

“I surrender my pride.”

[bctt tweet=”Pietas abased himself before no one. #SciFi #MFRWhooks” username=”kayelleallen”]

—

Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas
by Kayelle Allen
Pietas is an Ultra, an all-but-immortal warrior who leads the fight against the oppressive human race that created his people. But when he’s captured and exiled to an alien world, his only ally is Six, a human who’s been as betrayed as he was. To cross the continent and find other Ultras, Pietas must overcome his centuries-long distrust of humans, and rely on Six. This mortal will either become his closest living friend or the human whose betrayal triggers all-out vengeance by the most powerful immortal ever born.
—
Read the first chapter https://kayelleallen.com/chaos-origin/
Available free on KindleUnlimited and in print
Amazon https://amzn.to/28QOTpb

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When Your Villain isn’t a Villain #writerslife #amediting

Kayelle Allen 07/28/2017 Character Insights

Villain: wicked or evil person; someone who does evil deliberately; principal bad character in a film or work of fiction (WordWeb). I’d like to add to that: character who refuses to cooperate with your plot.

I started with the definition of villain so we both speak the same language. Mine was named Pietas and he was the bad guy in a book I’d written, edited, rewritten, re-edited, and restarted nine times since 2008.

I picked it back up, considered it, and set it aside again multiple more times before I realized my problem was not with the plot, the hero, or the concept. It was the villain.

My problem was with my immortal Ultra, Pietas.

He would not do any of the things I thought a bad guy should do. Seriously? A villain who doesn’t even swear? What kind of bad guy is that? Although he had used a “bad word” in a book no longer in print, that was me badly writing his character to fit my “vision” of who he was. It felt wrong at the time but I didn’t listen to my gut. I should have.

Like any proper scoundrel, Pietas was cold and inhuman and his followers obeyed him without question. But unlike the usual dastardly-deed-doer, the minions of Pietas followed him out of loyalty. I’d missed something in creating this villain of mine and I didn’t know what it was. I figured I had to either put the book away forever or find a way to make Pietas behave.

Those who know the Bringer of Chaos are laughing right now. Make Pietas do what? Right!

Talking to a writer friend, I lamented about this frustrating villain and how difficult it was to write about a narcissistic sociopath. She laughed in my face and informed me I couldn’t be more wrong. He was not a villain at all, but a passionate, honorable, and humble man who’d been put in a position of being the heavy.

To which I replied, “No, no. I’m talking about Pietas.” Turned out, so was she. Obviously, I had missed far more than I suspected. But what?

With her help, we set up an “interview” where she would ask me questions and I would answer as Pietas in a free association format. This is a thought process in which ideas, words or images suggest other ideas in a sequence. Using what I already knew about him, I would try to figure out how he’d answer. I’d role play. Why not? Pietas was not only the king of the immortals in my story, he was the Gamemaster in the role-playing game they all obsessed over: Peril.

We agreed to record it so I could go back and listen again. She would ask open-ended questions that couldn’t be answered “yes” or “no” which would elicit conversation. We talked for well over an hour. She asked “Pietas” about his father, how he felt about his mother, why he did not get along with his sister, and why he was so hung up on a previous lover. What had happened to him as a child that made him angry now? What did he hope to accomplish?

By the end, I had a far deeper understanding of the immortal king. I got to know the real person and not the superficial character I’d written. What showed up in other books was the person he presented to the world. In reality, the psychotic front he showed to others was not at all who he was.

That insight changed everything.

I got to work writing his story instead of the one I’d wanted. When I finished Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas and released it, one reviewer said “He’s painted as a complete psycho in other books. It’s really great to get some insight into who he truly is.” Readers told me they felt Pietas was a real person and I was channeling his energy. My heart sang. I’d accomplished my purpose and revealed the true person to the world. Although, now I had to deal with Pietas, who wasn’t all that happy about the big reveal! I’ve sweet-talked him into bringing his truth into the light, so we should see several more books in his series.

I’ve been busy writing the sequel to the Origin of Pietas. I’m on the last few pages now. Here’s the blurb for the new book, Bringer of Chaos: Forged in Fire. (updated cover on the way)

Reviving after death isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and wounds of the heart take forever.

When Pietas reunites with the immortal Ultra people he was born to lead, they reject his human friend, Six, a member of Ghost Corps. Ghosts, their most feared adversaries, are resurrected special ops soldiers who possess enough strength to perma-kill Ultras.

Six is taken hostage, and Pietas must free his friend, deal with the brutal father he’s detested since childhood, make amends with his sister, and rescue his ailing mother. Meanwhile, the tempestuous affair he rekindles with a beautiful, telepathic warrior he’s adored for centuries lays bare long-held and deadly secrets.

The gift of telepathy he’s always wished for activates at the worst possible time, but it gives him one huge advantage. He bonds with an ally who harbors every bit as much hatred for his father as Pietas does: a tribe of genetically enhanced panthers. As much as he loves these noble creatures, connecting with their feral bloodlust threatens to undermine his legendary self-control.

How can he even hope love will withstand the unstoppable berserker rage within the Bringer of Chaos? If it can’t, Ghost Corps will be the last thing Ultras need to fear.
—
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Pick up Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas

Character Flaws: Narcissism, Writing Pietas #PietasFans #SciFi

Kayelle Allen 07/26/2017 Character Insights

One way writers allow readers to connect with a hero is to give him serious character flaws. In Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas, Pietas begins as an arrogant narcissist with a superiority complex. He is sooo above puny humans... but in this book, his immortal life could end when he winds up at the mercy of one.

Character Flaws

In this scene between the immortal Pietas and his father, the two are arguing a familiar topic: humans. To establish the main character's chief flaw, it's important to reveal it as close to the opening as possible. This conversation begins on the first page, but we join it here a few pages later. Pietas is speaking.

"You want us to treat humans as equals. They never treated us as such. Even now, we're hated and reviled. Putting them on the council will make them haughtier. I want nothing to do with humans."

"Then you want nothing to do with me, Son. Humans are all I care about."

And wasn't that the naked truth of his father's betrayal? He had turned his back on their people. He had turned his back on his son.

"You're right, Father. I want nothing to do with you. I care nothing for mortals. They all die."

"You were elected by the council and you serve at their pleasure." He jabbed a finger at the ground. "They want this treaty. Remember that."

"I never forsake duty." Pietas twitched his fingers, dismissing him. He waited until Mahikos reached the door. "Did it never occur to you?"

His father faced him. "What?"

"The council elected me to head these talks and removed you. You want to bring in humans. I do not. Perhaps the council hates humans more than you think."

A wave of aggravation emanated from Mahikos. Licks of emotional flame scorched Pietas's skin. Accustomed to the pain, he did not flinch.

"Son, surely you realize they elected you to keep you close and control you."

"To control--" Pietas broke into laughter. "Did they? How unenlightened." He shrugged. "Well, they can try. I must say, your annoyance today is a refreshing change from your usual indifference. I'd begun wondering if you had any emotions regarding my takeover. It must nettle, knowing your lowly son succeeded your rule."

"No one would consider you lowly."

Pietas lifted his chin. "Except you."

"I'm surprised you even bothered to show up, as much as you hate humans."

"It's nothing personal. I hate humans no more than a physician hates germs yet still takes time to eradicate them. Humans are dangerous."

"Humans are the reason we exist."

"Perhaps that was true in your reality. Humans have abused, misused, and betrayed their creations throughout their history. This peace everyone clamors for comes from concern about humans. I care less than nothing about them. As for their good graces? I have no faith they exist."

"You know, Pietas, one day you'll rely on the mercy of humans."

"You think humans show mercy? How amusing."

Head down, Mahikos rubbed a spot between his eyes. "I hope I'm there to see it. When you realize even humans have value, that will be a good day for all of us."

"How well you preach love." If only his father gave it half as well.

"Son, when the conference starts tomorrow, all your mother and I ask is that you try to be gracious."

"I'm certain I already am." He toyed with the circlet. "Just this morning when I knocked on your chamber door, I heard Mother say, 'Oh gracious. That must be Pietas.'"

"Why can you not be serious about this?"

"I consider these talks of utmost importance. It is you I do not take seriously."

---

Okay -- now tell me, aren't you irritated with Pietas right now? If I've done my job as a writer, you will be. However, as you walk in his shoes (or lack of them) through the rest of the story, you'll gain an insight into his arrogance and his hate-love-hate relationship with his father. One reviewer wrote that by the end, she loved this man (Pietas) she had been driven to hate.

Writing a character with serious flaws is like buying a diamond in the rough. You know the gem is in there. It takes time to grind and polish down to the good part.

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My characters may be found in multiple books in my story universe. Pietas images Nik Nitsvetov as Pietas cosplay.

Tag: Bringer of Chaos

Explaining isn’t always easy

To layer emotion, look at two things.

Verbs

Nouns

Who will you believe, human?

Emotions Bombarded Pietas

Bringer of Chaos

What little remained of his heart…

Character Flaws