Writing Character Emotions
One of the fun things about writing a series is that you get to use the same settings in different books. The Royal Arms Hotel has played host to characters in three books. In each of the scenes below, a character is looking out a window toward Tarth City Park, a wide stretch of park that splits the entire city. Each excerpt reveals how they feel about the city and/or about being there. The "trick" to writing emotion into scenes is describing the setting. If a character views a place with awe—or revulsion—we don't have to then tell the reader how they felt. See if you can determine how each character feels in the mini excerpts below. I'd love for you to leave a comment about what you think.
At the Mercy of Her Pleasure - NarrAy
Once they reached the Royal District, the car pulled up to the front of the luxurious Royal Arms Hotel. Shaped like a giant arrow being driven into the ground, it displayed Tyran engineering at its finest. Like their suite on the ship, the empire-class suite at the top sported a common living area and four bedrooms with private baths.
NarrAy's corner room had a breathtaking view of vast Tarth City, showcase of the empire. Impossibly tall spires drove through the clouds. Steady shuttle traffic climbed into the sky to the west, near the starport. The wide swath of Tarth City Park divided the metropolis in half all the way to the horizon, and the Cyr de Typhin River meandered through the center, its bright blue water glinting in the sun.
For Women Only - Mehfawni
Mehfawni's hotel room overlooked Tarth City Park, a green strip of manicured garden that cut the city in half as far as the eye could see. The family servants unpacked her belongings while she stood at the window and gawked like a child. Seventy stories below, ground traffic crawled, and trains snaked out of holes and zipped halfway up the sides of buildings into more holes. In the distance, shuttle traffic cluttered the sky. Slender structures speared the clouds. Closer in, right on the edge of the park, a massive black building towered over all the others, dominating the view.
Why didn't it fall over? It looked too big, too flat. Mehfawni went to another window, straining to get a better view. The tallest building on Felidae rose six stories. Her family still used horse-drawn carriages, even though all of them owned modern hovers too. She'd marveled at the starport in Ruh Township, a provincial outpost compared to vast Empire Central on Tarth. She'd slept through the jump to Sanity IV and missed the wonders of seeing the vast array of habdrills taking the planet apart.
Crystal Clear Truth - Joe
By the time Joe reached his room, darkness blanketed the world outside. Out on the balcony, he braced his hands on the railing and drew the moist evening air deep into his lungs. It had been ages since he'd experienced Tarth City's cool evenings. Every bit as good as he remembered. If he had to live anywhere other than Kyrenie, he'd pick here. A whisper of wind shivered across his skin, and he rubbed his arms.
His room lay on the one hundred and tenth floor of a building shaped like the letter V. Tyran engineering ensured it stayed upright, even during the worst storms and earthquakes. Nothing ramshackle. Pure genius, especially considering they designed for people with legs, while they, themselves possessed haunches and hooves.
Lights along the outside raced from the topmost floor downward, giving it the appearance of some gigantic arrow, burying itself. Up here, with fog starting, the light created an ambient glow.
Considering the size and population of Tarth City, the fact that he smelled fresh air and not filtered blankness spoke to an outstanding municipal plan. Creating a city that harmonized with nature began with masterful terraforming.
The major drawback of a megalopolis—lights stretched from horizon to horizon, blotting out the stars, with the single moon no more than a thin crescent of silver.
A vibrating rumble tickled his chest. Off to the west, a sleepliner descended toward the starport. That it made only this much sound meant powerful buffers held vibrations at bay. No matter how many times he visited this city or where he went within it, the sight of a massive ship landing almost soundlessly never ceased to amaze.
He'd have stayed out here all night, but he had a workshop to teach the next day, so he dragged himself back inside.
Antonello Brothers
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What a clever device for a blog post!
But none of the characters seem all that unhappy to be there.
Thank you! These all take place near the start of the story, where things are looking up. 🙂
I love the world you’ve created for your characters, Kayelle. 🙂
Thank you so much, Tina!
Your post really gave me a taste of the city from three different views!
Thank you so much. It was fun to show the same place from different POVs.
Hi,
I enjoyed every scene you presented. Here is my take on scenes:
Scene one- At the Mercy of Her Pleasure – I saw NarrAY experiencing sexual pleasure. She was daydreaming, comparing her suite to having intercourse.
Scene two- For Women Only – Mehfawni- Drifting back into her childhood, Mehfawni is letting the child in her come out as she has fond being in the room that makes her feel like a little girl.
Scene three – Crystal Clear Truth- Joe: This one puzzled me, but I think Joe is part man/part horse because he thought: Pure genius, especially considering they designed for people with legs, while they, themselves possessed haunches and hooves.
Now, I would like to know how close I am even though there is no right or wrong answer.
Shalom shalojm
Really good take on this! Joe is human, and the Tyran are goat-like people. Their name comes from the word Satyr, a mythological being sometimes representing Bacchus.