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More Spam Spam and More Spam

Kayelle Allen 09/16/2012 Kayelle Allen

Danger Ahead…

I occasionally share a list of amusing spam emails. Here are some of the latest. Use discretion when opening these kinds of messages — and a good antivirus program. For best results, don’t open them at all! I include their titles here, but did not open any of these emails.

Dear Confidant/Scam Victim
I love this one! Apparently they believe in telling you the truth right up front. You are a victim. What a timesaver.

Confirmation! Confirmation! Confirmation!
Because I might not pay attention if they just wrote Confirmation.

FBI Seeking to Wiretap Internet
Now, when I got this it was in all caps, but I wrote it like a title to fit my blog better. Which is another way you can tell if something is spam. It SCREAMS at you. Apparently, finding the caps lock key is too much of an effort for these folks.

Kind Request
Yeah right. Their kind request is for me to download their virus-laden attachment and/or click their malicious-site URL. No thank you.

Poverty Alleviation Program
I knew this was the real thing because it came from United Nation. Not Nations, mind you, but Nation. Although what this one nation is united with, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s an internal thing. Anyway, I didn’t open it. I prefer to alleviate poverty the old fashioned way — by working.

Verification Notice
This type of notice should be considered seriously. No, really! If you just joined a website and are expecting a confirmation of some sort, it can be handy. But in my case, I got one from the Chief Justice of Nigeria. Somehow I don’t think so. Gonna pass on that one.

Your Winning no: GB8701/LPRC
Okay, my winning “no” (which is an abbreviation for number — but I digress) is right there. If you want to contact Australia Lottery Inc and claim it, be my guest. But I’m passing on that one too. Kind of hard to be a winner in something I’d never heard of, and hadn’t played.

Use caution online

USPS notification #1880453, #5216533, #2116200
Three notifications for me in one day, all from ISPS Inc. Gee, they must be afraid I’ll miss the packages they tried to leave for me. Maybe I should open this email and download the goody they sent me so I can claim it. I haven’t had a virus in a while. On second thought, think I’ll pass…

And there you have it. More spam spam and more spam from the wonderful world of email.

Kayelle Allen is an award-winning, multi-published author. Her heroes and heroines include badass immortals, warriors who purr, and agents who find the unfindable–or hide it forever. She is known for unstoppable heroes, uncompromising love, and unforgettable passion.

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From the Spambox: Another Amusing Title

Kayelle Allen 08/15/2012 Humorous Stories

Stop Spam!

Periodically, I do a blog post about funny spam. I get a kick out of reading the subjects in my email?s junk mail folder. Sometimes the wording clues you in right away that it?s bogus. Other times, you can tell by the ?from? name that it’s not someone you know, or that it?s not who it purports to be. For example, I doubt the real Federal Bureau of Investigation would send me an email advising me of the fact that they had a warrant for my arrest. Somehow, I think they?d just come and find me. Honestly, I don?t move around that much. It wouldn?t be hard for them to grab me at all.

But scam artists still try to fool us. Here are some amusing subject lines I?ve seen lately. (All spelling is exactly as it was in the original version.)

THE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION AGAINS YOU HAS STARTED. GRAVE PRIVACY VIOLATION IS A SERIOUS THING.
Okay… grave privacy violation? What, are we talking about grave robbers here? Someone maybe stealing headstones? To do what, exactly? Recycle? In case there might be another person with the same name who needs a headstone, and who died on the same date? No… somehow I don?t think it?s that kind of grave. But the word ?agains? shows me that someone is either careless and doesn?t check spelling (against) or this is a non-English speaking translation. Either way, obvious spam.

CAN I TRUST YOU
I don?t think a day goes by that I don?t see this message in my spam box. If you don?t know that, why are you sending me an email asking me for… what, exactly? To trust you with a small fortune? To smuggle goods out of the country? Or into this one? Good grief. I?m wondering as I write this if some random sweep by the FBI and my use of their name above with the words smuggle will trigger a visit. Or maybe this post will be viewed by Homeland Security? Of course, now that I?ve used both FBI and Homeland Security, I?m probably a goner for sure. Anyway, on to another amusing title from the spam filter.

WITH MY DIGNITY IS VERY URGENT PLEASE?
I wonder if the spammers of the world know how much laughter they cause with titles like this. It made me literally laugh out loud. What the heck is this supposed to mean? Anyone want to hazard a guess?

HOW ARE YOU TODAY? I GUESS NICE. MY IS A LITTLE BIT HOT OVER HERE.
Do you even want to know what this email is about? No. No, I didn?t think so. I didn?t either. Like 99.9% of spam, I deleted it unopened. But I did laugh. What is the .01% I do open? Things from friends that got mislabeled, or registration confirmations that were mis-sent to spam. That’s about it. I am uber careful about what I open online.

WE THE FBI HAVE WARRANT TO ARREST YOU GET BACK TO US FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

We have a warrant…

Here’s another unopened message that generated giggles. Riiiiight. I?ll get right on that. But first I have to take care of this vital email.

SCAM VICTIM COMPENSATION PAYMENT ADVISE/ OPEN THE ATTACHED FOR MORE DETAILS.
Yes, I am going to open your attachment. I haven?t caught any good viruses lately. I?m sure I?m overdue. Not.

ATTENTION DEAR
Ever wonder why so many scammers and spammers use the word ?dear? in the subjects of their emails? Is that supposed to make me believe you know me? For some reason, most of these are from individuals who add Mr. or Mrs. to their names in the from section, which is completely at odds with the friendly greeting.

PAYMENT OF PRIZE & CLAIM
I?m on this ASAP because even though I haven?t entered a sweepstakes contest in twenty years, I?m sure I?ve won something big and expensive. Can?t wait to see what it is!

And that concludes our selection of exciting spam messages this time. Be sure to stay tuned for the next edition of ?From the Spambox.?

Kayelle Allen is an award-winning, multi-published author. Her heroes and heroines include badass immortals, warriors who purr, and agents who find the unfindable–or hide it forever. She is known for unstoppable heroes, uncompromising love, and unforgettable passion.

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July 4th, Magic Mike, and Paladin

Kayelle Allen 07/04/2012 Holiday Stories

Best 4th of July Ever!

It’s the Fourth of July and that calls for some good old American BBQ, hot dogs, hamburgers, ice cold watermelon, a parade, some fireworks, and of course, a great movie in the afternoon. How about we all go see Magic Mike?

You can learn more about the movie on Facebook, or its official site.

I’m not here to review it — haven’t seen it yet, but it’s on my list of “to see on the big screen.” I’m a Matt Bomer fan, and think Alex Pettyfer is adorable. Also starring Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey, Joe Manganiello, Olivia Munn, Riley Keough, Cody Horn, and the always hot Adam Rodriguez. Couldn’t ask for more entertainment than this group!

Lake water is refreshing

While we’re waiting for the movie to start, want to meet one of the Pool Boys from my Yahoo group Romance Lives Forever?

A swim in the lake is always refreshing, so I thought I’d share an image of one of the guys coming up from a brief dip. This photo is by Andrei Vishnyakov. The link is to his Facebook page, but you can find his work on many stock photo sites.

Original

Since I have your attention and I’m talking about a favorite photographer, now might be a good time for me to share a new wallpaper with you. One of my immortals, a winged Sempervian named Paladin was inspired by one of Andrei’s photos. The original is to the left, followed by my interpretation of the character. I created this for my wallpaper page. It will go up sometime on the Fourth. It features images of the characters in my books, maps, and other goodies. There is also a free reads page.

Work was done by me in Photoshop using images purchased on Photoxpress.com

Paladin – click to see full sized (1920×1080)

Have a hot, happy, and safe Fourth of July!

Kayelle Allen is an award-winning, multi-published author. Her heroes and heroines include badass immortals, warriors who purr, and agents who find the unfindable–or hide it forever. She is known for unstoppable heroes, uncompromising love, and unforgettable passion.

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A Good Report from Home

Kayelle Allen 06/13/2012 Kayelle Allen 18 Comments

Chilling at Home

Almost a week after being hospitalized for what my doctor thought might be a heart attack, I’m home, a little healthier, a lot wiser, and too tired to believe. A hospital is not the best place to rest. About the time you get to sleep, someone wakes you to test something, check vitals, or make sure you’re comfortable. ^_^ Ironic, isn’t it?

Well, doctors discovered no blockages, but say my heart has been weakened. I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol. It’s possible my thyroid has problems that may have triggered some of this. I reduced my weight by 80 pounds over a four year period, and for two years, my weight had been steady, never rising or falling more than a 3-4 pounds. But since Nov 2011, I’ve gained 40 lbs. I’d have to gain over a pound a week to gain that much so fast. I don’t eat enough to gain so much so fast. I have been increasingly tired, to the point I wondered if I might be anemic. (Docs ruled that out, too.) However, thyroid problems would explain my fatigue and weight gain. I’ll be following up with my doctor next week.

Right now, I’m on orders not to pick up more than 10 lbs, bend over, or stand for more than about 15 min at a time for the next four days. I’m doing what they say. I’ll be offline most of the day after this post. Not going to be online much until Friday. That is harder than it sounds. My location on all my profiles says “at the keyboard” and that is so true. ^_^

I’m thankful to have had all this caught and not have had a heart attack. My advice to everyone, and especially to authors… Take care of yourself. Expect another health-conscious post after this. Okay, maybe more than one. I’m thinking about how authors hurt themselves by thinking they’re as invincible as their characters. Might be some good material in that!

I want to give a shout out to Northside Hospital in Atlanta, GA. The folks in the cardiac unit there are amazing. I was cared for, looked after, and taken care of in the most amazing fashion. If you are looking for a place to be treated professionally but with the utmost care, look no further.

Kayelle Allen is an award-winning, multi-published author. Her heroes and heroines include badass immortals, warriors who purr, and agents who find the unfindable–or hide it forever. She is known for unstoppable heroes, uncompromising love, and unforgettable passion.

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More Spam Spam and More Spam

From the Spambox: Another Amusing Title

July 4th, Magic Mike, and Paladin

Have a hot, happy, and safe Fourth of July!

A Good Report from Home